are you gay?

dzheremi

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Hiwot said:
yeshua, you do not aesthetically speaking at least see or recognise though superficial it may be the beauty or the lack thereof in the same gender?
Perhaps he thinks if he admits that a man is good looking, then people will wonder if he's gay? I dunno if I've got it wrong, but from what I've always been told, it seems like being gay has to do with who you are physically attracted to, not who you can see as attractive (in the sense of 'so-and-so looks good today'). For instance, I find Monet's Waterlily Pond to be very aesthetically pleasing, but I don't want to have sex with it. Alright, a weird example, but you see the distinction, I hope... :)
 

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dzheremi said:
Hiwot said:
yeshua, you do not aesthetically speaking at least see or recognise though superficial it may be the beauty or the lack thereof in the same gender?
Perhaps he thinks if he admits that a man is good looking, then people will wonder if he's gay? I dunno if I've got it wrong, but from what I've always been told, it seems like being gay has to do with who you are physically attracted to, not who you can see as attractive (in the sense of 'so-and-so looks good today'). For instance, I find Monet's Waterlily Pond to be very aesthetically pleasing, but I don't want to have sex with it. Alright, a weird example, but you see the distinction, I hope... :)
indeed. which is why I said to myself me thinks the lady protests too much.
 

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dzheremi said:
I find Monet's Waterlily Pond to be very aesthetically pleasing, but I don't want to have sex with it
I don't understand you.
 

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Hiwot said:
dzheremi said:
Hiwot said:
yeshua, you do not aesthetically speaking at least see or recognise though superficial it may be the beauty or the lack thereof in the same gender?
Perhaps he thinks if he admits that a man is good looking, then people will wonder if he's gay? I dunno if I've got it wrong, but from what I've always been told, it seems like being gay has to do with who you are physically attracted to, not who you can see as attractive (in the sense of 'so-and-so looks good today'). For instance, I find Monet's Waterlily Pond to be very aesthetically pleasing, but I don't want to have sex with it. Alright, a weird example, but you see the distinction, I hope... :)
indeed. which is why I said to myself me thinks the lady protests too much.
Calling YIM a lady is no way to get his bloom to blossom.

One must coax these things out carefully.
 

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dzheremi said:
Hiwot said:
yeshua, you do not aesthetically speaking at least see or recognise though superficial it may be the beauty or the lack thereof in the same gender?
Perhaps he thinks if he admits that a man is good looking, then people will wonder if he's gay? I dunno if I've got it wrong, but from what I've always been told, it seems like being gay has to do with who you are physically attracted to, not who you can see as attractive (in the sense of 'so-and-so looks good today'). For instance, I find Monet's Waterlily Pond to be very aesthetically pleasing, but I don't want to have sex with it. Alright, a weird example, but you see the distinction, I hope... :)
I like to make love to paintings, a nice Norman Rockwell always does the trick.
 

yeshuaisiam

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Hiwot said:
yeshua, you do not aesthetically speaking at least see or recognise though superficial it may be the beauty or the lack thereof in the same gender?
Nope.  I understand that females can find men attractive.  But as for me, one man is the same as the next.  I know what others say though and I believe them in their own testimony... but really I don't see it. 
 

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dzheremi said:
Hiwot said:
yeshua, you do not aesthetically speaking at least see or recognise though superficial it may be the beauty or the lack thereof in the same gender?
Perhaps he thinks if he admits that a man is good looking, then people will wonder if he's gay? I dunno if I've got it wrong, but from what I've always been told, it seems like being gay has to do with who you are physically attracted to, not who you can see as attractive (in the sense of 'so-and-so looks good today'). For instance, I find Monet's Waterlily Pond to be very aesthetically pleasing, but I don't want to have sex with it. Alright, a weird example, but you see the distinction, I hope... :)
If I admitted it, I would be lying.  I really don't find men attractive.   I mean at ALL.  Zero percent.
 

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yeshuaisiam said:
Hiwot said:
yeshua, you do not aesthetically speaking at least see or recognise though superficial it may be the beauty or the lack thereof in the same gender?
Nope.   I understand that females can find men attractive.  But as for me, one man is the same as the next.   I know what others say though and I believe them in their own testimony... but really I don't see it. 
Weird. I mean, I personally have no desire to sleep with Tom Brady or Henry Cavill or Micah Kinnard or any man who's starred in a Marvel Studios film, but I totally get why other people would.
 

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orthonorm said:
I think gays are less likely to hit their kids.
why do you think that? if that is the case though, I think every kid would feel that his life is a  blessing if he was raised by gay people.
 

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Dear Michał,

Masculinity is not defined by music or sports or politics or art appreciation.

I really hate this term 'homosexuality,' because it is deceptive and misses the broader point of masculinity and femininity.  That's what is the real issue: whether one can accept one's God-pleasing gender.  Sexual attraction stems from this.

Now, some people are so abused that their sexuality becomes distorted.  There are others that are born 'gender dysmorphic' and cannot accept their own gender.  Others still have a partial rejection.  Humans are indeed complicated.

When I was younger, I didn't have girlfriends (not for lack of trying, but being as awkward as I was...), wasn't into sports or cars, and spent a lot of time reading and isolating.  Some kids who were partying and sleeping around thought I was gay.

Years later, I had to take a psychological exam for a job, and the psychologist informed me that all my test score showed that I was not only definitely not gay, but would have a hard time working with either females or gay men!  While I still hate TV sports, working on cars, and all the stereotypical stuff, I have lots of other interests that are 'manly': when you are young, the idea of cooking is 'girly,' but when you get older and make 40 kilos of kielbasa... suddenly you are the ikon of masculinity!

Sexual attraction is a very small part of the debate about homosexuality.  I think that the 'gay rights movement' flashes its worst during 'Gap Pride' parades largely to distract heterosexuals from the real conversation about self-loathing and rejection of gender.


Michał Kalina said:
- I am not repelled by pictures of some handsome males, I sometimes enjoy looking at males I consider handsome (in aesthetic way, not in the pornographic one)
- I do not share some typical male hobbies or interests (motorisation, team sports etc.)
- I like music associated with gay culture (Village People, TomBoy, Culture Club...) and glam rock.
- I support gay rights (civil uniions, child adoption etc.) provided they do not try to reach religious institutions.
- Some of my friends asked me or my other friends whether I'm gay.

- On the other hand I am sexually attracted to females, hence the 20%.
 

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No, but I wish that God would have made me asexual and aromantic--that way I wouldn't have the burden of resisting lust, porn and fornication.
 

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JamesR said:
No, but I wish that God would have made me asexual and aromantic--that way I wouldn't have the burden of resisting lust, porn and fornication.
Resistance training means bigger, badder, stronger.
 

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JamesR said:
No, but I wish that God would have made me asexual and aromantic--that way I wouldn't have the burden of resisting lust, porn and fornication.
See, the fact that asexuals exist attests to the fact that sexual orientation isn't a choice. Why wouldn't you want to be rid of such concerns?
 

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FatherGiryus said:
Dear Michał,

Masculinity is not defined by music or sports or politics or art appreciation.

I really hate this term 'homosexuality,' because it is deceptive and misses the broader point of masculinity and femininity.  That's what is the real issue: whether one can accept one's God-pleasing gender.  Sexual attraction stems from this.

Now, some people are so abused that their sexuality becomes distorted.  There are others that are born 'gender dysmorphic' and cannot accept their own gender.  Others still have a partial rejection.  Humans are indeed complicated.

When I was younger, I didn't have girlfriends (not for lack of trying, but being as awkward as I was...), wasn't into sports or cars, and spent a lot of time reading and isolating.  Some kids who were partying and sleeping around thought I was gay.

Years later, I had to take a psychological exam for a job, and the psychologist informed me that all my test score showed that I was not only definitely not gay, but would have a hard time working with either females or gay men!  While I still hate TV sports, working on cars, and all the stereotypical stuff, I have lots of other interests that are 'manly': when you are young, the idea of cooking is 'girly,' but when you get older and make 40 kilos of kielbasa... suddenly you are the ikon of masculinity!

Sexual attraction is a very small part of the debate about homosexuality.  I think that the 'gay rights movement' flashes its worst during 'Gap Pride' parades largely to distract heterosexuals from the real conversation about self-loathing and rejection of gender.
This was an epic fail of a post.
 

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JamesRottnek said:
FatherGiryus said:
Dear Michał,

Masculinity is not defined by music or sports or politics or art appreciation.

I really hate this term 'homosexuality,' because it is deceptive and misses the broader point of masculinity and femininity.  That's what is the real issue: whether one can accept one's God-pleasing gender.  Sexual attraction stems from this.

Now, some people are so abused that their sexuality becomes distorted.  There are others that are born 'gender dysmorphic' and cannot accept their own gender.  Others still have a partial rejection.  Humans are indeed complicated.

When I was younger, I didn't have girlfriends (not for lack of trying, but being as awkward as I was...), wasn't into sports or cars, and spent a lot of time reading and isolating.  Some kids who were partying and sleeping around thought I was gay.

Years later, I had to take a psychological exam for a job, and the psychologist informed me that all my test score showed that I was not only definitely not gay, but would have a hard time working with either females or gay men!  While I still hate TV sports, working on cars, and all the stereotypical stuff, I have lots of other interests that are 'manly': when you are young, the idea of cooking is 'girly,' but when you get older and make 40 kilos of kielbasa... suddenly you are the ikon of masculinity!

Sexual attraction is a very small part of the debate about homosexuality.  I think that the 'gay rights movement' flashes its worst during 'Gap Pride' parades largely to distract heterosexuals from the real conversation about self-loathing and rejection of gender.
This was an epic fail of a post.
Are you really happy? Because you can't be a happy person with how rude you are. Do you derive joy from deriding people? Ask Freud about that; I'm sure there's some hypersexual way he could describe it.
 

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JamesRottnek said:
FatherGiryus said:
Dear Michał,

Masculinity is not defined by music or sports or politics or art appreciation.

I really hate this term 'homosexuality,' because it is deceptive and misses the broader point of masculinity and femininity.  That's what is the real issue: whether one can accept one's God-pleasing gender.  Sexual attraction stems from this.

Now, some people are so abused that their sexuality becomes distorted.  There are others that are born 'gender dysmorphic' and cannot accept their own gender.  Others still have a partial rejection.  Humans are indeed complicated.

When I was younger, I didn't have girlfriends (not for lack of trying, but being as awkward as I was...), wasn't into sports or cars, and spent a lot of time reading and isolating.  Some kids who were partying and sleeping around thought I was gay.

Years later, I had to take a psychological exam for a job, and the psychologist informed me that all my test score showed that I was not only definitely not gay, but would have a hard time working with either females or gay men!  While I still hate TV sports, working on cars, and all the stereotypical stuff, I have lots of other interests that are 'manly': when you are young, the idea of cooking is 'girly,' but when you get older and make 40 kilos of kielbasa... suddenly you are the ikon of masculinity!

Sexual attraction is a very small part of the debate about homosexuality.  I think that the 'gay rights movement' flashes its worst during 'Gap Pride' parades largely to distract heterosexuals from the real conversation about self-loathing and rejection of gender.
This was an epic fail of a post.
Thank you!    :)
 

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yeshuaisiam said:
Hiwot said:
yeshua, you do not aesthetically speaking at least see or recognise though superficial it may be the beauty or the lack thereof in the same gender?
Nope.   I understand that females can find men attractive.  But as for me, one man is the same as the next.   I know what others say though and I believe them in their own testimony... but really I don't see it. 
You are not alone, but be prepared for people to say you either lie or have some sort of imaginary problem. 
 

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JamesRottnek said:
FatherGiryus said:
Dear Michał,

Masculinity is not defined by music or sports or politics or art appreciation.

I really hate this term 'homosexuality,' because it is deceptive and misses the broader point of masculinity and femininity.  That's what is the real issue: whether one can accept one's God-pleasing gender.  Sexual attraction stems from this.

Now, some people are so abused that their sexuality becomes distorted.  There are others that are born 'gender dysmorphic' and cannot accept their own gender.  Others still have a partial rejection.  Humans are indeed complicated.

When I was younger, I didn't have girlfriends (not for lack of trying, but being as awkward as I was...), wasn't into sports or cars, and spent a lot of time reading and isolating.  Some kids who were partying and sleeping around thought I was gay.

Years later, I had to take a psychological exam for a job, and the psychologist informed me that all my test score showed that I was not only definitely not gay, but would have a hard time working with either females or gay men!  While I still hate TV sports, working on cars, and all the stereotypical stuff, I have lots of other interests that are 'manly': when you are young, the idea of cooking is 'girly,' but when you get older and make 40 kilos of kielbasa... suddenly you are the ikon of masculinity!

Sexual attraction is a very small part of the debate about homosexuality.  I think that the 'gay rights movement' flashes its worst during 'Gap Pride' parades largely to distract heterosexuals from the real conversation about self-loathing and rejection of gender.
This was an epic fail of a post.
It was actually an epic success.
 

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That person said:
JamesR said:
No, but I wish that God would have made me asexual and aromantic--that way I wouldn't have the burden of resisting lust, porn and fornication.
See, the fact that asexuals exist attests to the fact that sexual orientation isn't a choice. Why wouldn't you want to be rid of such concerns?
There are people who reproduce naturally without sexual relations?  I know people can be born without reproductive organs, but this in no way proves anything about human sexuality anymore than being born with an extra finger.  For someone who doesn't have an interest in sex, this also implies nothing in terms of homosexuality, unless we link it to sociological foundations rather than genetic, or admit its a preference and nothing more.

The leaps people take in an effort to say something is a fact scares me.
 

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Kerdy said:
That person said:
JamesR said:
No, but I wish that God would have made me asexual and aromantic--that way I wouldn't have the burden of resisting lust, porn and fornication.
See, the fact that asexuals exist attests to the fact that sexual orientation isn't a choice. Why wouldn't you want to be rid of such concerns?
There are people who reproduce naturally without sexual relations?  I know people can be born without reproductive organs, but this in no way proves anything about human sexuality anymore than being born with an extra finger.  For someone who doesn't have an interest in sex, this also implies nothing in terms of homosexuality, unless we link it to sociological foundations rather than genetic, or admit its a preference and nothing more.

The leaps people take in an effort to say something is a fact scares me.
When we talk about humans, "asexual" refers to those who lack any desire for sex, hetero, homo, zoo, or whatever.

Words can mean different things.
 

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JamesR said:
No, but I wish that God would have made me asexual and aromantic--that way I wouldn't have the burden of resisting lust, porn and fornication.
Imagine having that three-tier burden and saying "yes" to the thread question.

It does (very often) make me want to join a very self-understood fundametalist type of church where all vices are categorically singled out and never tolerated (in the sense of saying something like "don't worry about it, you're only human."  Think, if the average Christian felt excruciating guilt every single time they told a white lie, or ate too much and felt uncomfortably stuffed, or walked/drove past a panhandler with a perturbed reaction, "sins" like these.)  Seriously... Misery would love company.

Not that I'm miserable all (or necessarily most) of the time.  But it can come easily, and it doesn't help that this sin is understood by traditional Christianity to be among the worst.  Yes, the Orthodox Church considers a ton of things to be grave sins (and if the Apostolic Canons were all applied, every 'minor' sin probably would feel as excruciating as homosexual or any sexual-identity disorder.)

Return to lightheartedness, please.  My point in this is to say that you should thank God you are not gay, the burdens can be lessened by Christian marriage later on.  (As for lighthearted... ::))
 

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JamesR said:
No, but I wish that God would have made me asexual and aromantic--that way I wouldn't have the burden of resisting lust, porn and fornication.
I can't imagine the hard struggle being a teen, having limitless access to pornography.  I feel for ya James.  Shun it away as far as you can brother.  That stuff messes up a LOT of men.
 

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In my mind there are not really "non sexual activities" or "non sexual hobbies" that make a person gay.

I believe a man can sew (tailor), cook (chef), etc.
I also believe a man can knit (like I said I helped my wife with that), or I hesitate to say pick out curtains (LOL).

What makes a man "part" homosexual is if he feels a lustful draw, romantically emotional draw, or physical attraction to another male.  (Or a female to a female)

Almost any "activity" can be deemed normal for men or women to do.  However, if its a group of men standing around talking about the mauve motif in a semi-contemporary bungalo.... Houston, we have a problem!

 

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"I wish that God didn't give me hands or a mouth cuz then I wouldn't have to worry about eating this damn tree in the garden"  :p

Struggling again the sexual appetite is infinately hard for me, I would copulate with just about anything if not for the Grace of God
 

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tweety234 said:
How does your priest treat you? and how do you feel? Just curious.
I'm a Kinsey 1 (Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual) and a Klein 1 (other sex only).
Klein is more dimensional than Kinsey, so I think it is overall a better perspective of a person.

My priest knows I want to find a good man, and told me to be patient. I dislike that.  :-[ I should probably be open and put myself out there a little, but also know that God is in control and settling is not a good idea.*

How do I feel about my sexuality? Well, it would be nice if I had a slightly lower drive or at least better mental control, but learning that is a process and I have accepted and endeavored in that.  While some amount of pleasure could be derived from kissing another woman in regard to the physical contact aspect, they just don't have the parts I would want to play with when the time comes. Honestly, I was intrigued by how two women could have sex though. I mean, neither have the right parts! Yes, I have googled that. Would I try it? No! Not for me.

With regard to homosexual culture, I am quite fond of the movie Lost and Delirious, though they could do without a certain scene or two. I doubt I would be attracted to The L Word. I rather enjoy lesbian/bi chick rock**, Ani DiFranco, Diana Anaid's Love Song for a Girl, Tegan & Sara, and the fake lesbian band from a couple years ago, Tatu. I also like Cher, the show Modern Family, and used to watch Will and Grace. The role of sexuality is one's cultural/subcultural affiliations differs from their own orientation, but expresses interests and affections for things that rather require at least a measure of comfort with alternative sexualities. For homosexuals, I believe this is from an element of affinity with those who have similar experiences or things that reflect their experience of life in some way.

*Yes, I want one of those sappy romantic loves where you fit well with each other and build a mutually desired life with one another too, and maybe even someone you are attracted to. Crazy, huh?

**Sue me. I'm a counter-culture wanna-be intellectual who should have been more of a rebel with better discipline back in the day and plays out her detachment or desire for detachment from society or what not in her choice of aesthetics and entertainment, particularly with music.
 

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JamesRottnek said:
FatherGiryus said:
Dear Michał,

Masculinity is not defined by music or sports or politics or art appreciation.

I really hate this term 'homosexuality,' because it is deceptive and misses the broader point of masculinity and femininity.  That's what is the real issue: whether one can accept one's God-pleasing gender.  Sexual attraction stems from this.

Now, some people are so abused that their sexuality becomes distorted.  There are others that are born 'gender dysmorphic' and cannot accept their own gender.  Others still have a partial rejection.  Humans are indeed complicated.

When I was younger, I didn't have girlfriends (not for lack of trying, but being as awkward as I was...), wasn't into sports or cars, and spent a lot of time reading and isolating.  Some kids who were partying and sleeping around thought I was gay.

Years later, I had to take a psychological exam for a job, and the psychologist informed me that all my test score showed that I was not only definitely not gay, but would have a hard time working with either females or gay men!  While I still hate TV sports, working on cars, and all the stereotypical stuff, I have lots of other interests that are 'manly': when you are young, the idea of cooking is 'girly,' but when you get older and make 40 kilos of kielbasa... suddenly you are the ikon of masculinity!

Sexual attraction is a very small part of the debate about homosexuality.  I think that the 'gay rights movement' flashes its worst during 'Gap Pride' parades largely to distract heterosexuals from the real conversation about self-loathing and rejection of gender.
This was an epic fail of a post.
Because I can't modify my original post, forgive me for my outburst James.
 

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That person said:
Kerdy said:
That person said:
JamesR said:
No, but I wish that God would have made me asexual and aromantic--that way I wouldn't have the burden of resisting lust, porn and fornication.
See, the fact that asexuals exist attests to the fact that sexual orientation isn't a choice. Why wouldn't you want to be rid of such concerns?
There are people who reproduce naturally without sexual relations?  I know people can be born without reproductive organs, but this in no way proves anything about human sexuality anymore than being born with an extra finger.  For someone who doesn't have an interest in sex, this also implies nothing in terms of homosexuality, unless we link it to sociological foundations rather than genetic, or admit its a preference and nothing more.

The leaps people take in an effort to say something is a fact scares me.
When we talk about humans, "asexual" refers to those who lack any desire for sex, hetero, homo, zoo, or whatever.

Words can mean different things.
I addressed that in my post.  Additionally, words lose their meaning when their meaning can mean anything.

EDIT:  from the definition you provided, I think another word for asexual would be "wife". :laugh:
 

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Kerdy said:
That person said:
Kerdy said:
That person said:
JamesR said:
No, but I wish that God would have made me asexual and aromantic--that way I wouldn't have the burden of resisting lust, porn and fornication.
See, the fact that asexuals exist attests to the fact that sexual orientation isn't a choice. Why wouldn't you want to be rid of such concerns?
There are people who reproduce naturally without sexual relations?  I know people can be born without reproductive organs, but this in no way proves anything about human sexuality anymore than being born with an extra finger.  For someone who doesn't have an interest in sex, this also implies nothing in terms of homosexuality, unless we link it to sociological foundations rather than genetic, or admit its a preference and nothing more.

The leaps people take in an effort to say something is a fact scares me.
When we talk about humans, "asexual" refers to those who lack any desire for sex, hetero, homo, zoo, or whatever.

Words can mean different things.
I addressed that in my post.  Additionally, words lose their meaning when their meaning can mean anything.

EDIT:  from the definition you provided, I think another word for asexual would be "wife". :laugh:
I just came close to ruining my keyboard with the soda that I was drinking.  Through the nose no less.
 

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Yes, I am.  ;D

My Orthodox priest treated me with nothing but fatherly love, and I've gotten the same treatment from the Episcopal priests at the Church I've been attending. 

I feel swell.  I actually left the Orthodox Church over this because I thought that I couldn't be gay and Orthodox.  I was am mess, and I was extremely immature about things.  I miss the Church so much.  I'll probably go back (not making any moves to join the Episcopal Church,) but for now I need to be away and think about the person I'm becoming and how I want to relate to God. 

I'm better with being gay now, and I see it as not a big deal.  Goodness, though, I handled it the wrong way.  I wish I never would've left the Church.  I suppose I have to sleep in the bed I've made. 
 
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