Biblical Courtship

yeshuaisiam

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Kelly was asking me what biblical courtship was in another thread.

Biblical Courtship is a term used to describe a morally based courtship between a man and a woman.   Casual dating is typically not practiced but rather a courtship with the goal of marriage in mind.

So "hooking up" and running to a restaurant is not a typical practice.

What is "typical" is the following.

Families will know each other for years in a church environment or between sister churches.
A young man who knows a young woman in this environment will spark an interest in the young woman.
He will muster up the courage to approach the young woman's dad, and ask if he may court his daughter.
The dad will know the family, know their values, and will approach his daughter with this interest (if he approves).
If his daughter approves, then the dad will tell the young man that he may court his daughter.

Courtship would usually first begin by the young man coming to the home of the daughter's family and having supper with them.   Perhaps this will happen 2-3 times.

If things progress, typically the young man will then be allowed to drive home the young lady from church to the parent's house.

He will also be allowed to pick her up and bring her to his family's house.

There is not a definite, but varying work would often be done by the young man for the young woman.  He would begin through time to "incorporate" into her life (as things progress).  

Please remember the entire time there is a hands off policy, but often a squeeze of the hand many happen at "hellos and goodbyes".  No kissing, making out, hugging, or anything else such as that.

Anyhow when things get serious they will approach the parents with the desire to be married, and if the parents approve, they will all approach the church.

Then they would be married.


It's mostly a way to keep the process of becoming married more pure.  It's the intent to find a spouse, rather than dating for friends "and see where it goes".   This is NOT entirely a Mennonite practice, but many conservative Christians do this as well.   Many Mennonites do it in this way, some do not.   (Old order Amish is very funky and I can't speak for them)   There is a growing amount of families using this type of courtship.

It keeps things much more pure.

If the young lady dislikes the young man at any time during any event, the courtship can be called off, or if the young man dislikes the courtship at any time, it may be called off too.  (if there are quirks, incompatibility, or somebody picks boogers.... who knows? - If it just doesn't work).  With hands off, there are no regrets.  The young lady or man remains pure for their future spouse.  

Purity & virginity at marriage is a biblically based concept.  Biblical courtship derives concepts of Judeo-Christian examples and places a modern (for our time) spin on things.   The young man approaching the father for instance would be a Jewish tradition.   The courting process itself is also beautiful as the couple (if married) literally would be compatible with each other and each others families.  

Like anything else, it's not perfect, but it's very good and keeps things "honest/pure".   It's not based in this "rigidity" and there are other situations.  But this is the general concept.  For older single adults things are a bit different but generally keep the same types of things going on.   Meet with family.  Meet at church.  Rides home.  Typically destinations would be with others in that person's life.  

While not perfect it seems far better than waking up in a hungover state not knowing who that person is next to you and wondering if you should take the walk of shame home.   OR, to put it not so extremely, a dating couple (long term) who fornicates and it complicates everything and they break up.  Pregnancy complications/concerns, etc.


 

yeshuaisiam

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Mor Ephrem said:
yeshuaisiam said:
Biblical courtship derives concepts of Judeo-Christian examples and places a modern (for our time) spin on things.  
Sounds like another "tradition of men" to me.   
Yes.  It's not a theology thing.  It's more taken as a common sense way to apply morality in courtship.  It's a term "Biblical Courtship".  It's a "thing that is done" not a "thing of worship".

 

Porter ODoran

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Are there forums of people who want to learn your ways, Yesh? Join your one-man revival of Jacob toiling for Rachel (oops, Leah) seven years?
 

yeshuaisiam

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Porter ODoran said:
Are there forums of people who want to learn your ways, Yesh? Join your one-man revival of Jacob toiling for Rachel (oops, Leah) seven years?
Kelly asked, I answered.
 

Mor Ephrem

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yeshuaisiam said:
Mor Ephrem said:
yeshuaisiam said:
Biblical courtship derives concepts of Judeo-Christian examples and places a modern (for our time) spin on things.  
Sounds like another "tradition of men" to me.   
Yes.  It's not a theology thing.   It's more taken as a common sense way to apply morality in courtship.  It's a term "Biblical Courtship".   It's a "thing that is done" not a "thing of worship".
Then why call it "biblical"?  What is biblical about the "typical" structure you outlined? 
 

kelly

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What makes it biblical?

Edit- get out of my head, Mor!!!
 

Mor Ephrem

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Porter ODoran said:
Are there forums of people who want to learn your ways, Yesh? Join your one-man revival of Jacob toiling for Rachel (oops, Leah) seven years?
I would've probably killed Laban.  If the Rachel involved was Rachel Weisz, I would've definitely killed him.  Just saying.
 

Schultz

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Mor Ephrem said:
Porter ODoran said:
Are there forums of people who want to learn your ways, Yesh? Join your one-man revival of Jacob toiling for Rachel (oops, Leah) seven years?
I would've probably killed Laban.  If the Rachel involved was Rachel Weisz, I would've definitely killed him.  Just saying.
You probably got those ideas from that satanic Shakespeare fellow.
 

Porter ODoran

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The idea that there's a biblical anything is usually worthy of a snake-oil salesman. Eat the biblical diet! Rise to be a biblical CEO! The fact of the matter is that "biblical times" would cover, what, fifty centuries and as many cultures on two or three continents? Should we buy women, work for women, steal women (Benjamites), marry sisters (Abraham), marry cousins (Rebecca), marry prisoners-of-war? Or which of the two civil Roman marriages is the better one? This is a handful of the possibilities that must have arisen in fifty centuries over two continents.
 

Cyrillic

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yeshuaisiam said:
Families will know each other for years in a church environment or between sister churches.
A young man who knows a young woman in this environment will spark an interest in the young woman.
He will muster up the courage to approach the young woman's dad, and ask if he may court his daughter.
The dad will know the family, know their values, and will approach his daughter with this interest (if he approves).
If his daughter approves, then the dad will tell the young man that he may court his daughter.

[...]


Anyhow when things get serious they will approach the parents with the desire to be married, and if the parents approve, they will all approach the church.

Then they would be married.
At which point do you have to show up with the goats?

Porter ODoran said:
Rise to be a biblical CEO!
It would be great to work for one. You show up at the last day of the month and get paid in full.
 

Arachne

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Porter ODoran said:
Should we buy women, work for women, steal women (Benjamites), marry sisters (Abraham), marry cousins (Rebecca), marry prisoners-of-war?
Just rape them and knock them up.

Also, you forgot slave concubines.
 

Cyrillic

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Arachne said:
Porter ODoran said:
Should we buy women, work for women, steal women (Benjamites), marry sisters (Abraham), marry cousins (Rebecca), marry prisoners-of-war?
Also, you forgot slave concubines.
And marrying prostitutes.
 

Porter ODoran

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Fabio Leite said:
It only works where and if there is a huge set of nurturing, healthy and structured families.

Not even an immaginable starting point for most people I know.
No, it doesn't work.
 

yeshuaisiam

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Mor Ephrem said:
yeshuaisiam said:
Mor Ephrem said:
yeshuaisiam said:
Biblical courtship derives concepts of Judeo-Christian examples and places a modern (for our time) spin on things.  
Sounds like another "tradition of men" to me.   
Yes.  It's not a theology thing.   It's more taken as a common sense way to apply morality in courtship.  It's a term "Biblical Courtship".   It's a "thing that is done" not a "thing of worship".
Then why call it "biblical"?  What is biblical about the "typical" structure you outlined? 
Mor I didn't make this up.  It's a term used.  She asked, I answered from what I've seen from experience.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biblical_courtship
 

kelly

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yeshuaisiam said:
Mor Ephrem said:
yeshuaisiam said:
Mor Ephrem said:
yeshuaisiam said:
Biblical courtship derives concepts of Judeo-Christian examples and places a modern (for our time) spin on things.  
Sounds like another "tradition of men" to me.   
Yes.  It's not a theology thing.   It's more taken as a common sense way to apply morality in courtship.  It's a term "Biblical Courtship".   It's a "thing that is done" not a "thing of worship".
Then why call it "biblical"?  What is biblical about the "typical" structure you outlined? 
Mor I didn't make this up.  It's a term used.  She asked, I answered from what I've seen from experience.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biblical_courtship
What is the scriptural basis for it?
 

yeshuaisiam

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Fabio Leite said:
It only works where and if there is a huge set of nurturing, healthy and structured families.

Not even an immaginable starting point for most people I know.
I agree.

Interesting within many Mennonite families I know where this is practiced, huge, nurturing, and healthy families exist.  This doesn't make them perfect.

Also these families exist in many conservative Christians.
 

yeshuaisiam

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kelly said:
yeshuaisiam said:
Mor Ephrem said:
yeshuaisiam said:
Mor Ephrem said:
yeshuaisiam said:
Biblical courtship derives concepts of Judeo-Christian examples and places a modern (for our time) spin on things.  
Sounds like another "tradition of men" to me.   
Yes.  It's not a theology thing.   It's more taken as a common sense way to apply morality in courtship.  It's a term "Biblical Courtship".   It's a "thing that is done" not a "thing of worship".
Then why call it "biblical"?  What is biblical about the "typical" structure you outlined? 
Mor I didn't make this up.  It's a term used.  She asked, I answered from what I've seen from experience.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biblical_courtship
What is the scriptural basis for it?
I shouldn't have to explain it all for you.  I didn't make it up.  There are several places where scripture would support this.  Read the link, open your bible, and you'll see many biblical things applied for the process.
 
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