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Craziest things atheists/non-believers have said about the Christian faith.

Achronos

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I have come across a topic regarding the Christian God as having been derived as a Volcano god, and that the early Jewish belief was worshipping a volcano god. This theory is somehow support that Mt Sinai was a ground for active volcanos and the fire and smoke was actually from a volcano. And then loosely connected by phrases "lakes of fire, burnt sacrifices, fire, etc"

Pretty bizarre stuff, and laughable.

Anyone have any other stories?
 

Asteriktos

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I generally stick up for the poor ole atheists and non-believers, but if I hear one more of them say "Christianity is just like every other religion. It was invented to control the people" I'm going to scream.
 

Achronos

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Asteriktos said:
I generally stick up for the poor ole atheists and non-believers, but if I hear one more of them say "Christianity is just like every other religion. It was invented to control the people" I'm going to scream.
I was hoping you'd say Christianity was cut from the same cloth like Mithra, Dionysius, Horus and even bizarrely Buddha.
 

Achronos

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akimori makoto said:
My personal favourite is "Jesus Christ probably never existed".
Ah yes, and whenever somebody asserts that claim they aren't in the position to be taken seriously.

I'm glad Jesus Christ exists. If we look at it from a salvation standpoint here on Earth (as far as a belief in Christ stopping those from suicide, murder, etc) he's saved millions. What myth has that power? What myth has the power to overtake an empire solely on love? And on and on and on.
 
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Aposphet said:
akimori makoto said:
My personal favourite is "Jesus Christ probably never existed".
Ah yes, and whenever somebody asserts that claim they aren't in the position to be taken seriously.
Yeah, I stop listening as soon as they utter that inanity.

Aposphet said:
I'm glad Jesus Christ exists. If we look at it from a salvation standpoint here on Earth (as far as a belief in Christ stopping those from suicide, murder, etc) he's saved millions. What myth has that power? What myth has the power to overtake an empire solely on love? And on and on and on.
Well said.
 

Iconodule

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"The eucharist was originally a psychedelic mushroom and Christ is actually a mushroom god."
 

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"You know it's really paganism/Buddhism/something else in disguise, right?"

???

:p
 

chris

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"Why do you worship a bloodthirsty zombie? Why not just go with Kali?"

I was asked this at a Greekfest in Birmingham, AL. She may have been kidding, teasing, or whatever....but I am not so sure of that, unfortunately.
 

Iconodule

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Aposphet said:
Iconodule said:
"The eucharist was originally a psychedelic mushroom and Christ is actually a mushroom god."
LOL no way.
Here's a book I saw on this topic (my brother was reading it): http://www.amazon.com/Mushrooms-Mankind-Impact-Consciousness-Religion/dp/1585091510/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1312244745&sr=1-1

The book is so poorly written and researched that I was very surprised my brother (a very intelligent person) was reading it.

The owner of this Youtube channel also has videos putting forth this view... he claims he was a novice monk briefly at St. Anthony's in Arizona. Pray for him.
 

Asteriktos

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FrChris said:
"Why do you worship a bloodthirsty zombie? Why not just go with Kali?"

I was asked this at a Greekfest in Birmingham, AL. She may have been kidding, teasing, or whatever....but I am not so sure of that, unfortunately.
Well, the "zombie Jesus" is a popular thing nowadays.  :police: I believe the answer to her question, whether she was serious or not, is: "I do so because after the talking snake convinced the nude rib-woman to eat the magical fruit from a one of a kind tree, she and her hubby fell from grace and were thrown out of eden, and so my family has needed some divine help since then; zombie Jesus offered that help in the form of sacrificing himself to himself so that he wouldn't be angry with me anymore"  :p  ;D  (Just kidding... )
 

Volnutt

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"Yahweh is just a bronze age tribal war god."

"Faith may not be able to move mountains, but look what it does to skyscrapers! (and various permutations)"

"If you grew up in Saudi Arabia/wherever, you'd probably be a Muslim/random non-Christian religion."

Everything that comes out of this guy's noise hole. http://theintelligentzone.blogspot.com/ My favorite, "Google maps can find anything. You can't find God on Google maps. Therefore, God does not exist."
 

biro

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Of course, the key lessons of that story are: never eat apples, and if you think snakes are talking to you, run. ;).
 

Achronos

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Volnutt said:
Everything that comes out of this guy's noise hole. http://theintelligentzone.blogspot.com/ My favorite, "Google maps can find anything. You can't find God on Google maps. Therefore, God does not exist."
I'm not sure what's more limiting, that Google maps only covers the Earth or his brain.
 

Volnutt

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Indeed lol. I really hope he's a troll, but he's been at it for so long...

Another one, "Proverbs 24:13 advises eating honey. Honey is bad for your teeth. Therefore the Bible is evil for contradicting good dental science."
 

Asteriktos

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Sounds like the alternate universe (=opposite) version of this guy, who does a pretty good job pretending to be a fairly dull Christian fighting against atheists.
 

NicholasMyra

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"Semitic people", who all worshiped YHWH, and included the Egyptians, wiped out the original near-eastern Mother Goddess and installed patriarchy, theocracy, empire and "mean, war-prone" YHWH as God over all of the Near East and Mediterranean.

Yeah. People think that.
 

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Every permutation of "Christianity was only spread by the sword." When you mention that sub-Roman Britain seems to have totally converted over night to Christianity all they can ever say "You're wrong idiot." When you mention Ireland which willingly converted, same thing. When you mention Scotland, same...
 

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^ Word. My Ottoman professor always ****-talked Christianity, the Crusades, and modern evangelical Christianity all the time, stressing how Muslims, when they were ruling way back when, were much more tolerant. I wrote a paper on the devshirme/janissary system and he just wrote "NO NO NO NO NO" all over my paper when I stressed the forced conversion. Oy.
 

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akimori makoto said:
My personal favourite is "Jesus Christ probably never existed".
A few months back i was convinced he could have been a extra terrestrial in a human body
@o@

I'm nearly out of that now
 

JamesRottnek

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Well, it is certainly not the craziest thing I've ever heard, but the idea that the incense in the Temple was marijuana, and that that was the incense early Christians used.

I must admit, I did believe this at one time...
 

Severian

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IsmiLiora said:
^ Word. My Ottoman professor always ****-talked Christianity, the Crusades, and modern evangelical Christianity all the time, stressing how Muslims, when they were ruling way back when, were much more tolerant. I wrote a paper on the devshirme/janissary system and he just wrote "NO NO NO NO NO" all over my paper when I stressed the forced conversion. Oy.
Did you tell your professor that the gizya on Egypt's Coptic Christians wasn't lifted until the 19th century? And that up until then Christians were double taxed for maintaining their faith? *Sigh* But being an Ottoman professor he may not have known that... ???
 

Salpy

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IsmiLiora said:
^ Word. My Ottoman professor always ****-talked Christianity, the Crusades, and modern evangelical Christianity all the time, stressing how Muslims, when they were ruling way back when, were much more tolerant. I wrote a paper on the devshirme/janissary system and he just wrote "NO NO NO NO NO" all over my paper when I stressed the forced conversion. Oy.
Thank you for having the courage to do that.
 

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akimori makoto said:
How come this professor gets to be called an Ottoman but I don't get to be called a Roman -- both empires being largely defunct?
Maybe she went to college a realllly long time ago.  :p
 

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All religious people are psychopaths

I got this one thrown in the face by a roommate  :)
 

JamesRottnek

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akimori makoto said:
How come this professor gets to be called an Ottoman but I don't get to be called a Roman -- both empires being largely defunct?
I thought she was talking about a Professor of Ottoman Studies, or some such thing.  Calling yourself an Ottoman (unless you happen to be a particular type of footstool) in this day and age is about as ludicrous as me calling myself a Pilgrim because my ancestors settled here in the seventeenth century.
 

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^ RE: My Ottoman Professor, 2 things

1) Even though I love different languages, my English is.....interesting. Sometimes I reverse word order or use an adjective differently. He taught the history of the Ottoman empire. I wasn't actually calling him an Ottoman ;)
2) As a joke, I actually would refer to him as "my Ottoman professor" with friends because he was obsessed (and I mean OBSESSED) with the Ottomans and thought that they could do no wrong. I got a C- on that paper, and I know it wasn't because of my writing and quality of research. The NOs on the paper pretty much spelled it out for me.
 
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* Jesus never existed

* Evolution proves God doesn't exist

* The universe could have existed for an infinite period of time

* An actual infinite regress is possible

* God requires you to speak in tongues

* There's no evidence that the earliest Christians existed (yup, heard that one)

* All religions are the same

* Christianity was created to keep people in control (thus ignoring the vast majority of Christian history)
 

vamrat

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"Christianity is a fairy tale."

Don't know why, but this one really bothers me.  Perhaps it is the pure level of scorn.  Whatever.  Someone once said this to me and I remembered that my Grandma always tells me to remember what Jesus would do.  So I fashioned a cat of nine tails out of some parachute cord and let him have it.
 

Iconodule

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vamrat said:
"Christianity is a fairy tale."
This bothers me for a number of reasons but mainly because when someone says it, it means he doesn't understand or appreciate fairy tales.
 

vamrat

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celticfan1888 said:
"The only reason you don't kill people is becuase you fear the angry sky god"

*sigh*  ::)
Atheist: "The only reason you don't kill people is becuase you fear the angry sky god"

Me: "Correct.  Now, what were you saying about that angry sky God not being real..."
 

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"Wow, with all those rules, you must be miserable."
 

orthonorm

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theo philosopher said:
* Jesus never existed

* Evolution proves God doesn't exist

* The universe could have existed for an infinite period of time

* An actual infinite regress is possible

* God requires you to speak in tongues

* There's no evidence that the earliest Christians existed (yup, heard that one)

* All religions are the same

* Christianity was created to keep people in control (thus ignoring the vast majority of Christian history)
Are you intentionally attempting to try my fast? Go easy on your weaker brethren.
 

orthonorm

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Iconodule said:
vamrat said:
"Christianity is a fairy tale."
This bothers me for a number of reasons but mainly because when someone says it, it means he doesn't understand or appreciate fairy tales.
We are on the same page. Just as with the myth page as well.

 

orthonorm

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The craziest thing a Christian can say:

I believe Jesus is God.
 
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