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Hard year

Peacemaker

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Just asking for prayers. I've been having a pretty rough year. This year I turned 30, I've been trying to join a monastery since I was 25 and still no luck. Joining a monastery isn't like it use to be where you could just walk to one and join. Now-a-days you go through a lot of trials. The last one I tried joining, they wanted me to wait one whole year to prove how serious I was, after that year was over they told me to look somewhere else because they didn't have the room for another monk. That made me feel like I wasted a year. My spiritual father wants to send me to Mt Athos and I'll be honest, that scares me because I only speak English.

After that happened I fell into the deepest despondency I've ever been through. Just haven't had the greatest time, ended up in the hospital because of appendicitis, car broke down three times, lost a job, living pay check to pay check on almost minimum wage needing to live with other people because I can't afford to be on my own, don't have my own place, don't know what I am doing with my life or why getting into a monastery is taking so long. Tried dating but every time it ended badly because I told the girl I want to wait until marriage for sex and that's a red flag for them so they leave. My godfather left my church and is going to a Roman Catholic church now. And I am still banished from two parishes in my home city for no reason (it's a long story) and I can't get in contact with the bishops so I don't really have a place where I can go to Church on Sundays unless I go to an all Russian parish where I can't understand anything. Not complaining, just depressed, questioning my faith and the actions of human beings. I feel very far away from God right now and that scares me.

Thank you for you prayers.
 

immerlein

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I am very sorry to hear of your hardships. Lord have mercy!
 

vorgos

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Lord have mercy.

PS: Don't dismiss Mount Athos because of your language. I've been to Mount Athos multiple times and there are MANY monks there that come from non-Greek speaking backgrounds and have managed to make it. The monastery of Simonos Petra especially seems to attract foreigners. Give that a try.

As long as you have the willingness to learn Greek (you are only 30), language shouldn't be much of a barrier. The physical, mental, psychological hardships on the other hand...
 

IXOYE

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Peacemaker said:
Just asking for prayers. I've been having a pretty rough year. This year I turned 30, I've been trying to join a monastery since I was 25 and still no luck. Joining a monastery isn't like it use to be where you could just walk to one and join. Now-a-days you go through a lot of trials. The last one I tried joining, they wanted me to wait one whole year to prove how serious I was, after that year was over they told me to look somewhere else because they didn't have the room for another monk. That made me feel like I wasted a year. My spiritual father wants to send me to Mt Athos and I'll be honest, that scares me because I only speak English.

After that happened I fell into the deepest despondency I've ever been through. Just haven't had the greatest time, ended up in the hospital because of appendicitis, car broke down three times, lost a job, living pay check to pay check on almost minimum wage needing to live with other people because I can't afford to be on my own, don't have my own place, don't know what I am doing with my life or why getting into a monastery is taking so long. Tried dating but every time it ended badly because I told the girl I want to wait until marriage for sex and that's a red flag for them so they leave. My godfather left my church and is going to a Roman Catholic church now. And I am still banished from two parishes in my home city for no reason (it's a long story) and I can't get in contact with the bishops so I don't really have a place where I can go to Church on Sundays unless I go to an all Russian parish where I can't understand anything. Not complaining, just depressed, questioning my faith and the actions of human beings. I feel very far away from God right now and that scares me.

Thank you for you prayers.
Lord, have mercy!

Could that be just part of them trying you by telling you to look elsewhere?
 
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