Peacemaker
OC.Net Guru
- Joined
- Apr 10, 2012
- Messages
- 1,461
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 0
Just asking for prayers. I've been having a pretty rough year. This year I turned 30, I've been trying to join a monastery since I was 25 and still no luck. Joining a monastery isn't like it use to be where you could just walk to one and join. Now-a-days you go through a lot of trials. The last one I tried joining, they wanted me to wait one whole year to prove how serious I was, after that year was over they told me to look somewhere else because they didn't have the room for another monk. That made me feel like I wasted a year. My spiritual father wants to send me to Mt Athos and I'll be honest, that scares me because I only speak English.
After that happened I fell into the deepest despondency I've ever been through. Just haven't had the greatest time, ended up in the hospital because of appendicitis, car broke down three times, lost a job, living pay check to pay check on almost minimum wage needing to live with other people because I can't afford to be on my own, don't have my own place, don't know what I am doing with my life or why getting into a monastery is taking so long. Tried dating but every time it ended badly because I told the girl I want to wait until marriage for sex and that's a red flag for them so they leave. My godfather left my church and is going to a Roman Catholic church now. And I am still banished from two parishes in my home city for no reason (it's a long story) and I can't get in contact with the bishops so I don't really have a place where I can go to Church on Sundays unless I go to an all Russian parish where I can't understand anything. Not complaining, just depressed, questioning my faith and the actions of human beings. I feel very far away from God right now and that scares me.
Thank you for you prayers.
After that happened I fell into the deepest despondency I've ever been through. Just haven't had the greatest time, ended up in the hospital because of appendicitis, car broke down three times, lost a job, living pay check to pay check on almost minimum wage needing to live with other people because I can't afford to be on my own, don't have my own place, don't know what I am doing with my life or why getting into a monastery is taking so long. Tried dating but every time it ended badly because I told the girl I want to wait until marriage for sex and that's a red flag for them so they leave. My godfather left my church and is going to a Roman Catholic church now. And I am still banished from two parishes in my home city for no reason (it's a long story) and I can't get in contact with the bishops so I don't really have a place where I can go to Church on Sundays unless I go to an all Russian parish where I can't understand anything. Not complaining, just depressed, questioning my faith and the actions of human beings. I feel very far away from God right now and that scares me.
Thank you for you prayers.