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has anyone here actually waited till marriage to have sex ?

spiltteeth

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Fr Spyridon said:
From the tone of many of these posts I'm guessing that a number of you are quite young men. Those of us who have reached an older age can verify it all gets easier once the body calms down and biology assumes you've done what you need to do to maintain the human race.
We are not cursed with these desires - God blessed us with a desire for our partner and should you allow that blessing to find its proper expression you will be closer to enjoying the fullness of what God intends for you. The quick, improper use will not be a longlasting joy. Remember the wedding at Cana - the last wine drawn was the best - a metaphor for the blessings that often come from many years shared in marriage - the deeper the relationship goes the better it can become.
There are plenty of faithful Orthodox women in the world. Sometimes a man will look past such a woman because of worldly ideals about beauty or body shape. However, if what your heart truly longs for is a righteous woman then you will be drawn to a righteous woman - you will be drawn to what you desire.
And if you want a righteous woman to be drawn to you, try to live out the gospel as well as you can - she'll find you. Remember - there are women out there seeking in a husband the virtues you seek in a wife - but ask yourself if such a woman would be attracted to you.
Keep praying. Keep fasting. The body will run amock if you let it, but will curb it's waywardness if you are stern with it and demand it follows your commands.
God bless you.
Thank you so much for these wise words. I started the topic because I'm now in my 30's and, at least in NY USA, there are more sightings of bigfoot than virtuous women. They seem astonished and disturbed that I believe in waiting till marriage. I really wonder how the Orthodox will replenish the faithful ! The catholic women don't seem terribly interested in chastity; and really its mostly fundamentalist evangelicals that are, nominally, trying to live chaste. I'm not a bad looking guy (my avatar is me) but I don't have much money or a good job. Still it just seemed like such a rarity I'm glad I've gotten some support and examples here.
I do wonder what the most sexually conservative country is? Sadly, its probably Islamic. Perhaps Poland ?
 

Maria

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augustin717 said:
Maria said:
Fr Spyridon said:
From the tone of many of these posts I'm guessing that a number of you are quite young men. Those of us who have reached an older age can verify it all gets easier once the body calms down and biology assumes you've done what you need to do to maintain the human race.
We are not cursed with these desires - God blessed us with a desire for our partner and should you allow that blessing to find its proper expression you will be closer to enjoying the fullness of what God intends for you. The quick, improper use will not be a longlasting joy. Remember the wedding at Cana - the last wine drawn was the best - a metaphor for the blessings that often come from many years shared in marriage - the deeper the relationship goes the better it can become.
There are plenty of faithful Orthodox women in the world. Sometimes a man will look past such a woman because of worldly ideals about beauty or body shape. However, if what your heart truly longs for is a righteous woman then you will be drawn to a righteous woman - you will be drawn to what you desire.
And if you want a righteous woman to be drawn to you, try to live out the gospel as well as you can - she'll find you. Remember - there are women out there seeking in a husband the virtues you seek in a wife - but ask yourself if such a woman would be attracted to you.
Keep praying. Keep fasting. The body will run amock if you let it, but will curb it's waywardness if you are stern with it and demand it follows your commands.
God bless you.
Thank you Father.

Your wisdom is appreciated.

Women also need to heed your advice as true love will wait. If we put God first in our relationship, then God will bless us. Yes, it takes prayer and fasting to control our passions, but the benefits far outweigh any small inconveniences.

When I was seeking a husband, I asked God to help me. I looked for three signs:
1. I would meet my future husband at a Christian gathering.
2. He would lead me into a deeper relationship with Christ.
3. He would be tall, blue-eyed, and blonde.

All three conditions were met within three months.
What a match-maker we have in Jesus! Amen!!!
Amen. Alleluia.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
Glory forever!
 

Kerdy

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Maria said:
Fr Spyridon said:
From the tone of many of these posts I'm guessing that a number of you are quite young men. Those of us who have reached an older age can verify it all gets easier once the body calms down and biology assumes you've done what you need to do to maintain the human race.
We are not cursed with these desires - God blessed us with a desire for our partner and should you allow that blessing to find its proper expression you will be closer to enjoying the fullness of what God intends for you. The quick, improper use will not be a longlasting joy. Remember the wedding at Cana - the last wine drawn was the best - a metaphor for the blessings that often come from many years shared in marriage - the deeper the relationship goes the better it can become.
There are plenty of faithful Orthodox women in the world. Sometimes a man will look past such a woman because of worldly ideals about beauty or body shape. However, if what your heart truly longs for is a righteous woman then you will be drawn to a righteous woman - you will be drawn to what you desire.
And if you want a righteous woman to be drawn to you, try to live out the gospel as well as you can - she'll find you. Remember - there are women out there seeking in a husband the virtues you seek in a wife - but ask yourself if such a woman would be attracted to you.
Keep praying. Keep fasting. The body will run amock if you let it, but will curb it's waywardness if you are stern with it and demand it follows your commands.
God bless you.
Thank you Father.

Your wisdom is appreciated.

Women also need to heed your advice as true love will wait. If we put God first in our relationship, then God will bless us. Yes, it takes prayer and fasting to control our passions, but the benefits far outweigh any small inconveniences.

When I was seeking a husband, I asked God to help me. I looked for three signs:
1. I would meet my future husband at a Christian gathering.
2. He would lead me into a deeper relationship with Christ.
3. He would be tall, blue-eyed, and blonde.

All three conditions were met within three months.
A very good friend of mine was well into her thirties before she married had a child.  Good example for women I think.  She trusted God.
 

Achronos

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Fr Spyridon said:
From the tone of many of these posts I'm guessing that a number of you are quite young men. Those of us who have reached an older age can verify it all gets easier once the body calms down and biology assumes you've done what you need to do to maintain the human race.
We are not cursed with these desires - God blessed us with a desire for our partner and should you allow that blessing to find its proper expression you will be closer to enjoying the fullness of what God intends for you. The quick, improper use will not be a longlasting joy. Remember the wedding at Cana - the last wine drawn was the best - a metaphor for the blessings that often come from many years shared in marriage - the deeper the relationship goes the better it can become.
There are plenty of faithful Orthodox women in the world. Sometimes a man will look past such a woman because of worldly ideals about beauty or body shape. However, if what your heart truly longs for is a righteous woman then you will be drawn to a righteous woman - you will be drawn to what you desire.
And if you want a righteous woman to be drawn to you, try to live out the gospel as well as you can - she'll find you. Remember - there are women out there seeking in a husband the virtues you seek in a wife - but ask yourself if such a woman would be attracted to you.
Keep praying. Keep fasting. The body will run amock if you let it, but will curb it's waywardness if you are stern with it and demand it follows your commands.
God bless you.
Father, bless!

Great post.
 

vamrat

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Maria said:
Fr Spyridon said:
From the tone of many of these posts I'm guessing that a number of you are quite young men. Those of us who have reached an older age can verify it all gets easier once the body calms down and biology assumes you've done what you need to do to maintain the human race.
We are not cursed with these desires - God blessed us with a desire for our partner and should you allow that blessing to find its proper expression you will be closer to enjoying the fullness of what God intends for you. The quick, improper use will not be a longlasting joy. Remember the wedding at Cana - the last wine drawn was the best - a metaphor for the blessings that often come from many years shared in marriage - the deeper the relationship goes the better it can become.
There are plenty of faithful Orthodox women in the world. Sometimes a man will look past such a woman because of worldly ideals about beauty or body shape. However, if what your heart truly longs for is a righteous woman then you will be drawn to a righteous woman - you will be drawn to what you desire.
And if you want a righteous woman to be drawn to you, try to live out the gospel as well as you can - she'll find you. Remember - there are women out there seeking in a husband the virtues you seek in a wife - but ask yourself if such a woman would be attracted to you.
Keep praying. Keep fasting. The body will run amock if you let it, but will curb it's waywardness if you are stern with it and demand it follows your commands.
God bless you.
Thank you Father.

Your wisdom is appreciated.

Women also need to heed your advice as true love will wait. If we put God first in our relationship, then God will bless us. Yes, it takes prayer and fasting to control our passions, but the benefits far outweigh any small inconveniences.

When I was seeking a husband, I asked God to help me. I looked for three signs:
1. I would meet my future husband at a Christian gathering.
2. He would lead me into a deeper relationship with Christ.
3. He would be tall, blue-eyed, and blonde.

All three conditions were met within three months.

Oh Lord, please send me a good Christian wife.  Please let her:
1- Be someone I meet at a Christian gathering, like one of the Serbian festivals so I am drunk enough to be able to fake confidence...
2- Lead me into a deeper relationship with Christ, so we can read excerpts from 1st Corinthians together...
3- Oh, and could her name be Angelina Jolie?  Failing that make her dark haired, dark eyed, strong...um hips and chest...and also be a duplicate of Angelina Jolie.  But, like, make her a lot younger.  I don't want to be hooking up with any 30+ spinsters.  Though, if she was an actress and had that kind of income, I'd be totally grateful.

Amen.

PS - Remember that Christian deaf girl I dated once?  Could this one also be deaf?  Just more so this time?

Amen.
 

vamrat

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spiltteeth said:
Fr Spyridon said:
From the tone of many of these posts I'm guessing that a number of you are quite young men. Those of us who have reached an older age can verify it all gets easier once the body calms down and biology assumes you've done what you need to do to maintain the human race.
We are not cursed with these desires - God blessed us with a desire for our partner and should you allow that blessing to find its proper expression you will be closer to enjoying the fullness of what God intends for you. The quick, improper use will not be a longlasting joy. Remember the wedding at Cana - the last wine drawn was the best - a metaphor for the blessings that often come from many years shared in marriage - the deeper the relationship goes the better it can become.
There are plenty of faithful Orthodox women in the world. Sometimes a man will look past such a woman because of worldly ideals about beauty or body shape. However, if what your heart truly longs for is a righteous woman then you will be drawn to a righteous woman - you will be drawn to what you desire.
And if you want a righteous woman to be drawn to you, try to live out the gospel as well as you can - she'll find you. Remember - there are women out there seeking in a husband the virtues you seek in a wife - but ask yourself if such a woman would be attracted to you.
Keep praying. Keep fasting. The body will run amock if you let it, but will curb it's waywardness if you are stern with it and demand it follows your commands.
God bless you.
Thank you so much for these wise words. I started the topic because I'm now in my 30's and, at least in NY USA, there are more sightings of bigfoot than virtuous women. They seem astonished and disturbed that I believe in waiting till marriage. I really wonder how the Orthodox will replenish the faithful ! The catholic women don't seem terribly interested in chastity; and really its mostly fundamentalist evangelicals that are, nominally, trying to live chaste. I'm not a bad looking guy (my avatar is me) but I don't have much money or a good job. Still it just seemed like such a rarity I'm glad I've gotten some support and examples here.
I do wonder what the most sexually conservative country is? Sadly, its probably Islamic. Perhaps Poland ?
The only really decent girl I know is Hindu.

----------------

Also, Father, thanks for that.
 

Dominika

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Father Spyridon, thank you for your post. It really gives hope. It's another lesson of trust in God.

spiltteeth said:
I do wonder what the most sexually conservative country is? Sadly, its probably Islamic. Perhaps Poland ?
Poland nowadays absolutely is not so sexually conservative. Only in official talks. What's happenning with teenagers... Better not to comment. Only among practicing Christians (especially those who are in some religious groups or brotherhoods) it's normal to wait with sex until marriage. A lot of Polish change quite frequently sexual partners.

E.g. it's known among my friends that I'm an Orthodox Christian so I want to wait till marriage to have sex, and on the one hand they respect it, but on the other hand it's very strange and unusual for them. Unfortunately, I know it won't be so easy for me to find a man that will want wait with "these things".
 
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