In trying to determine what the attitude toward Mary should be it might be useful to start with what the Messiah's attitude was with regard to her. In general it doesn't seem to be very warm.
As far as scripture is concerned, the Messiah never refers to Mary as His mother but rather as woman. There are only 3 times mentioned where the Messiah spoke to her. And He seemed to be a bit perturbed with her 2 of those times. The 3rd time He merely told her to look at her son.
Also, He only spoke 2 times with regard to what someone said about her and again His responses couldn't be considered very flattering.
If your average person reads the bible at flat, face value then a lot of scripture can "appear" to be as you describe and the devil will take advantage of this to twist the Savior into something He is not. I bear the scars of this myself 20+ years later after reading a bible from start to finish with either no commentary or inaccurate commentary and drawing some very wrong conclusions about God.
But you have to dig deeper with the help of appropriate Eastern Orthodox commentaries for proper interpretation. Then, you see God in new eyes, as He was meant to be seen.
I found a couple of quotes online that might help you see better the Lord and His interactions/words with His mother using the word "woman":
1. "As noted in
Orthodox biblical
commentary, when
Jesus addressed
Mary as “
woman” he is in fact using a unique scriptural title imparting respect, affection, dignity, and distinction."
-AND-
2. "In his Gospel, Saint John never refers to the Lord’s mother by her name of Mary, but always as the “mother of Jesus” (John 2:1,3) or “His mother” (John 2:5; 19:25-26). At one point, Jesus even addresses her by the term “Woman,” certainly a strange and unprecedented term for a son to use for his mother according to Jewish custom.
Always with a profoundly insightful eye for the “symbolic” or the typological (an Old Testament prototype that anticipates its fulfillment in the New) the evangelist is presenting the Virgin Mary here as the counterpart to the “woman” in the garden of Genesis 3. The mother of Jesus is the “New Eve” who will act in a way that is in harmony with the will of God, and not in a way that will subvert that will.
According to the biblical scholar Raymond Brown, “In this light we can compare the woman in the Garden of Eden who led Adam to the first evil act with the woman at Cana who leads the new Adam to his first glorious work. In the prophecy of Genesis we hear that God will put enmity between the woman and the serpent and that her seed will crush the serpent.
In calling his mother “woman,” Jesus may well be identifying her with the new Eve who will be the mother of his disciples as the old Eve was the ‘mother of all the living.’ She can play her role of intercession, however, only when her offspring on the cross has crushed the serpent”
(The Gospel and Epistles of John: A Concise Commentary, p. 29)."
* (The second quote referenced, though a Catholic priest's commentary of John, still lines up with the Orthodox view of Mary being the New Eve.)
