lovesupreme
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I left the Eastern Orthodox Church a while ago. I became very transfixed on soteriology and ended up looking into Reformed traditions. I've been going to different churches on Sunday, but I haven't joined anywhere yet.
I didn't want to leave and I miss my friends and my community, but I honestly had come to feel no peace. I have very bad scrupulosity, and I ended up just abusing the sacramental system. My priest knew this about me, but nothing we tried together worked. I would always dread going to services, feeling guilty, rushing to confession in order to repeat the revolving door process all over again. I know that's not how you're supposed to do it. I tried many times to take different approaches. At the end of the day, I found myself in a system where I needed to constantly do more to appease God. I know that's not how Orthodoxy is presented, but that's what I experienced.
I came to fully embrace monergism, having seen how futile it was to "cooperate" with God for my salvation. I know most if not all of you disagree with this view. I told my priest early on in my struggle and he even permitted me to stay, but I felt like I would be so out of place and at odds with coreligionists if I rejected the "faith+works" approach of Orthodoxy. I don't reject that works are a vital part of the Christian's life, but I reject that they have anything to do with salvation. That's what I believe.
Anyway, I'm depressed and disconnected at the moment. I've had good interactions with pastors and people at other churches, but I'm scared to make any more immediate decisions. I want to spend more time in prayer and study. I'm pretty certain that I can't go back unless some of my views really did change. I don't know what God wants of me. I need to trust in Him more and listen to what He's telling me.
I ask for your prayers and I thank you for your support in my journey so far. Sorry to scandalize anyone. Thank you. :-\
I didn't want to leave and I miss my friends and my community, but I honestly had come to feel no peace. I have very bad scrupulosity, and I ended up just abusing the sacramental system. My priest knew this about me, but nothing we tried together worked. I would always dread going to services, feeling guilty, rushing to confession in order to repeat the revolving door process all over again. I know that's not how you're supposed to do it. I tried many times to take different approaches. At the end of the day, I found myself in a system where I needed to constantly do more to appease God. I know that's not how Orthodoxy is presented, but that's what I experienced.
I came to fully embrace monergism, having seen how futile it was to "cooperate" with God for my salvation. I know most if not all of you disagree with this view. I told my priest early on in my struggle and he even permitted me to stay, but I felt like I would be so out of place and at odds with coreligionists if I rejected the "faith+works" approach of Orthodoxy. I don't reject that works are a vital part of the Christian's life, but I reject that they have anything to do with salvation. That's what I believe.
Anyway, I'm depressed and disconnected at the moment. I've had good interactions with pastors and people at other churches, but I'm scared to make any more immediate decisions. I want to spend more time in prayer and study. I'm pretty certain that I can't go back unless some of my views really did change. I don't know what God wants of me. I need to trust in Him more and listen to what He's telling me.
I ask for your prayers and I thank you for your support in my journey so far. Sorry to scandalize anyone. Thank you. :-\