• For users new and old: the forum rules were streamlined when we transitioned to the new software. Please ensure that you are familiar with them. Continued use of the forum means that you (a) know the rules, and (b) pledge that you'll abide by them. For more information, check out the OrthodoxChristianity.Net Rules section. (There are only 2 threads there - Rules, and Administrative Structure.)

Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column

vamrat

Merarches
Joined
Jun 4, 2010
Messages
9,471
Reaction score
0
Points
36
Age
36
Location
Omaha
akimori makoto said:
vamrat said:
As a side note, Aki, there are times I really really like you.  No homo.
Wasn't there something in another thread about your shifting sex/gender?
I was doing that just for Asteriktos' amusement.  He said there was nothing interesting going on so I flew to Thailand and got a sex-change operation.  There is nothing I won't do for my online family.  But it's alright.  The doctor said everything would grow back in six to eight months, just like a lizard's tail.
 
Joined
Apr 10, 2011
Messages
3,125
Reaction score
0
Points
0
Location
Sydney, Australia
vamrat said:
akimori makoto said:
vamrat said:
As a side note, Aki, there are times I really really like you.  No homo.
Wasn't there something in another thread about your shifting sex/gender?
I was doing that just for Asteriktos' amusement.  He said there was nothing interesting going on so I flew to Thailand and got a sex-change operation.  There is nothing I won't do for my online family.  But it's alright.  The doctor said everything would grow back in six to eight months, just like a lizard's tail.
Hmm, not sure I'm into that, haha.
 

Asteriktos

Strategos
Joined
Oct 4, 2002
Messages
39,563
Reaction score
313
Points
83
vamrat said:
akimori makoto said:
vamrat said:
As a side note, Aki, there are times I really really like you.  No homo.
Wasn't there something in another thread about your shifting sex/gender?
I was doing that just for Asteriktos' amusement.  He said there was nothing interesting going on so I flew to Thailand and got a sex-change operation.  There is nothing I won't do for my online family.  But it's alright.  The doctor said everything would grow back in six to eight months, just like a lizard's tail.
I will accept your situation out of love, but don't be surprised if I'm disgusted with myself each time we've finished.
 

JamesRottnek

Taxiarches
Joined
Feb 4, 2010
Messages
6,256
Reaction score
1
Points
0
Age
26
Location
Mesa, AZ
akimori makoto said:
vamrat said:
akimori makoto said:
vamrat said:
As a side note, Aki, there are times I really really like you.  No homo.
Wasn't there something in another thread about your shifting sex/gender?
I was doing that just for Asteriktos' amusement.  He said there was nothing interesting going on so I flew to Thailand and got a sex-change operation.  There is nothing I won't do for my online family.  But it's alright.  The doctor said everything would grow back in six to eight months, just like a lizard's tail.
Hmm, not sure I'm into that, haha.
Now if you had a race-change operation along with it, and became a Japanese girl, Akimori would be interested.
 

DerekMK

Protokentarchos
Joined
Oct 4, 2002
Messages
5,437
Reaction score
0
Points
0
vamrat said:
Intelligent - go back to Alaska and swim to the west.  I have been searching and searching for an uneducated Russian woman.  Not that I have an interest in stupid women, it's just kinda like the four leaved clover thing.  It doesn't really do anything useful, but it's an accomplishment to say you found one.
Work as a teacher here.  It won't take long for your search to be completed. 

A good point though about Russian culture and conversation.  I really enjoy the fact that a great date is simply going for a pleasant walk in a park and chatting.  That's still really my favorite way to spend a pleasant day with my wife.
 

JamesR

Taxiarches
Joined
Nov 4, 2011
Messages
6,924
Reaction score
2
Points
0
Age
25
Location
The Underground
Νεκτάριος said:
A good point though about Russian culture and conversation.  I really enjoy the fact that a great date is simply going for a pleasant walk in a park and chatting.
I like the thought of that. Sounds inexpensive, intimate and intellectually satisfying. However, if you do not mind me asking, isn't walking through a park at night dangerous? Over in California it can be pretty dangerous with the crime and everything. Fortunately though, some efforts are being made to combat it as it is becoming more and more common for police stations to be built next to parks and libraries.
 

Second Chance

Merarches
Site Supporter
Joined
Mar 13, 2009
Messages
8,017
Reaction score
0
Points
0
Age
75
Location
South Carolina
IXOYE said:
Asteriktos said:
IXOYE said:
I don't know how much success people have with online dating in the Orthodox world.  Yet I know of a new yahoo group which I can't post here due to the rules.
As I understood it, the rule used to be that you could post a link to another site/forum/group if it was relevant to the discussion and you weren't just trying to advertise or divert the conversation. Don't know if that's still the rule though...
What say our moderators?
I clicked on "Rules" and scrolled down. Miracle of miracles, I did find the rule that you are referring to!!!

"    * Links -- Posters are not permitted to post links to websites designed for the commercial purposes of selling without explicit permission from a moderator or administrator.  Advertising is also prohibited without explicit permission.  Offending posts will be immediately deleted.  Posting of a link to any website not related to the ongoing thread discussion is not allowed.  If it is the first topic in the thread, or if the link IS relevant to the conversation at hand, it is required that the poster post a paragraph of text from the article in question into the thread.  The poster can then include a DIRECT link to the article in that post, below the paragraph of text."
 

IXOYE

Archon
Site Supporter
Joined
Mar 21, 2006
Messages
2,969
Reaction score
16
Points
38
Thanks Second Chance!

“Orthodox And Single is a place where single Orthodox Christians can meet
other singles of the Eastern Orthodox faith.”

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/OrthodoxAndSingle/
 

DerekMK

Protokentarchos
Joined
Oct 4, 2002
Messages
5,437
Reaction score
0
Points
0
JamesR said:
Νεκτάριος said:
A good point though about Russian culture and conversation.  I really enjoy the fact that a great date is simply going for a pleasant walk in a park and chatting.
I like the thought of that. Sounds inexpensive, intimate and intellectually satisfying. However, if you do not mind me asking, isn't walking through a park at night dangerous? Over in California it can be pretty dangerous with the crime and everything. Fortunately though, some efforts are being made to combat it as it is becoming more and more common for police stations to be built next to parks and libraries.
Parks have the potential to be unpleasant - drunks around the clock and dangerous at night.  Daytime is nice though. 
 

Asteriktos

Strategos
Joined
Oct 4, 2002
Messages
39,563
Reaction score
313
Points
83
JamesRottnek said:
Now if you had a race-change operation along with it, and became a Japanese girl, Akimori would be interested.
But there's more to it than looks. I know from extensive research that I have done on video sites that, to be a Japanese girl, you must be willing to participate in the most perverted and disgusting sexualized acts possible, but still have the sense of propriety to blur out your private bits. This isn't something that can be taught quickly, you need to be raised and conditioned in a society for decades to have that kind of mindset.
 

Asteriktos

Strategos
Joined
Oct 4, 2002
Messages
39,563
Reaction score
313
Points
83
I'm looking for a special lady to enjoy my company and appreciate my brilliance. If you meet the following qualifications, you will private message me, and I will then let you know whether I want to go forward with a relationship.

Qualifications
- No kids. Also, you must not have any kids of your own.
- Red hair preferred. Natural redheads only. Imposters will be severely punished. This will be verified during the first meeting.
- Breasts no bigger than a C cup, but no smaller than a B cup.
- Green eyes a plus, but I can work with brown eyes if you also have brown or black hair.
- Glasses a plus. Contact wearers need not apply.
- Long toes.
- Large tush. Bubble butts will be accepted or rejected depending on comparison of butt-to-breast proportions.
- Intelligent, but not smarter than me. (Exception: must be smarter than me in culinary and other related skills).
- Between 5'2" and 5'4"
- Between 125 and 145 lbs. Exceptions to this (within a 5 pound margin) must have good justification.
- Low maintenance.
- Must be "open minded" in the bedroom.
- Must be a liberal: philosophically, politically, religiously.
- Must enjoy reading.
- Must enjoy watching sports.
- Should have a graduate degree, or be preparing to enter a program in pursuit of such a degree.
- Must find bald men irresistable.
- Likes heavy metal music, horror movies, and various other forms of low-brow entertainment.
- No pro wrestling fans.
- Familiarity with Star Trek highly desired.
- Must be able to meet personal grooming requests.
 
Joined
Apr 10, 2011
Messages
3,125
Reaction score
0
Points
0
Location
Sydney, Australia
Asteriktos said:
JamesRottnek said:
Now if you had a race-change operation along with it, and became a Japanese girl, Akimori would be interested.
But there's more to it than looks. I know from extensive research that I have done on video sites that, to be a Japanese girl, you must be willing to participate in the most perverted and disgusting sexualized acts possible, but still have the sense of propriety to blur out your private bits. This isn't something that can be taught quickly, you need to be raised and conditioned in a society for decades to have that kind of mindset.
The man speaks truth.
 

Asteriktos

Strategos
Joined
Oct 4, 2002
Messages
39,563
Reaction score
313
Points
83
Achronos said:
Dude can you link us to your eHarmony profile? I have to see it.
I signed up for eHarmony during one of those "free weekend" things, but they sent me an email saying that they could not help me at this time   :'(
 

Achronos

Toumarches
Site Supporter
Joined
Oct 31, 2010
Messages
13,265
Reaction score
1
Points
0
Location
House Of Balloons
It's alright buddy. I'm sure eHarmony would send you this as a "consolation" prize:



Wait.
 

Asteriktos

Strategos
Joined
Oct 4, 2002
Messages
39,563
Reaction score
313
Points
83
Achronos said:
It's alright buddy. I'm sure eHarmony would send you this as a "consolation" prize:

Wait.
:( Wouldn't help anyway. I don't have a working microwave where I'm staying. Those milky way bars look downright delicious though...
 

Achronos

Toumarches
Site Supporter
Joined
Oct 31, 2010
Messages
13,265
Reaction score
1
Points
0
Location
House Of Balloons
With my lottery winnings we can construct the woman of your dreams and make her stronger, better, faster
 

Asteriktos

Strategos
Joined
Oct 4, 2002
Messages
39,563
Reaction score
313
Points
83
Achronos said:
With my lottery winnings we can construct the woman of your dreams and make her stronger, better, faster
Tubular!

That post was supposed to be a parody of certain profiles I've seen on dating sites. I understand having a certain idea of who your dream guy/girl is, but the chances that you're going to make up an insanely specific list and then find that person on Plenty of Fish or OK Cupid isn't very likely.

Not that the above list isn't my dream girl...  :angel: ;D
 

Achronos

Toumarches
Site Supporter
Joined
Oct 31, 2010
Messages
13,265
Reaction score
1
Points
0
Location
House Of Balloons
True story, I was on that plenty of fish site a few years ago. My god the women on their freaked me out.
 

vamrat

Merarches
Joined
Jun 4, 2010
Messages
9,471
Reaction score
0
Points
36
Age
36
Location
Omaha
Achronos said:
True story, I was on that plenty of fish site a few years ago. My god the women on their freaked me out.
Yeah, that pretty much sums up POF,
 

Achronos

Toumarches
Site Supporter
Joined
Oct 31, 2010
Messages
13,265
Reaction score
1
Points
0
Location
House Of Balloons
All of those dating sites are so hopeless and actually made me a bit depressed. People are so full of themselves, it's truly remarkable.

What's that Christian dating site? Christian Mingle? Oh lawdy.
 

dzheremi

Protokentarchos
Joined
Jan 18, 2010
Messages
4,417
Reaction score
2
Points
0
I'd never heard of Plenty of Fish, just E-Harmony because it has all those dumb tv ads, so I went there...thanks a lot, thread. That was terrible. Turns out there are a LOT of single women in Albuquerque, but to find one that doesn't come with an instant family or probably needing a green card is apparently quite a challenge. And that's not even getting started on all the 18-20 year olds that are probably fake accounts to sell you/infect your computer with pornography...yikes!

That settles it; I'm never leaving my apartment.
 

vamrat

Merarches
Joined
Jun 4, 2010
Messages
9,471
Reaction score
0
Points
36
Age
36
Location
Omaha
Achronos said:
Oh yeah I forgot about all the accounts that are probably fake. Man I'm so naive.
Match.com seems to be worst for this (of the paid sites).  They leave them up indefinitely unless the user decides to make their account inactive.  FWIW, I met my first girlfriend on Match, so it is possible.  Also, they get hacked profiles where someone just makes a profile with no preferences (first give away) and then uploads a pretty picture they got off the interwebz and sends out "winks" to random guys.  These are relatively easy to spot.  All in all it's not a terrible site.

As for Christian Mingle, I don't have a lot of experience on that site.  I met one girl on there and she is so inexplicably wonderful that I never bothered talking to anyone else and let the subscription expire.  I cannot comment on the overall female content of the site, but as far as the mechanics of the site goes, it's actually one of the better ones.

Regarding Plenty of Fish...it's free and you get what you pay for.  Half of the women on there have "if you are just looking for a booty call I'm not for you" so there has to be a rather large number of creepers on there as far as men go.  Unfortunately, when you throw that many creepers onto one site the women get pretty jaded pretty quickly.  Then you have the ones saying they don't want to be thought of as a piece of meat, but their main profile pic has 76% of it taken up by their cleavage!  There is an "intimate encounters" search option.  I ran this search a few times as it is excessively hilarious.  I found a one-armed woman who was married but said that her husband just didn't excite her so she was looking for something on he side.  You just can't make up that sort of thing!  And to top it all off, she was from Council Bluffs!  One woman emailed me only to tell me that I looked like a child molester.  I took a peak at her profile and there was just way too much ammunition.  She made a big point of saying that she was not interested in men who were overweight.  That was just pure gold because when I saw her picture I thought, 'wow, if I were an Eskimo she would make one heck of a good meal.  Enough for the whole tribe!' 

(I generally make a point of never making fun of overweight women because I have met too many of them who have had a heart of gold.  Not to mention, I have been a chubby bloke my whole life and only now am starting to diet and exercise.  I know how hard it is to loose weight, though to all you plump people out there, once you get going it gets a whole lot easier!  But yeah, this woman was just way too hypocritical for me not to make fun of!)

But yeah, POF is plenty worth steering away from, unless you're looking for lulz.  Any woman on there who was at least remotely serious was just as picky as one you could have found on a paid site.

I have nothing really good to say about eharmony.  It costs way more than any of the others and I never had it send me any matches and I am sure as heck not going to cough up cash if I don't have some idea as to the quality up front.

 

That person

OC.Net Guru
Joined
Dec 11, 2009
Messages
1,166
Reaction score
0
Points
0
Achronos said:
What's that Christian dating site? Christian Mingle? Oh lawdy.
My youngest sister met her current boyfriend on there. I'll let you know how it goes.
 

That person

OC.Net Guru
Joined
Dec 11, 2009
Messages
1,166
Reaction score
0
Points
0
Achronos said:
I'll get to vamrat soon but.

That person said:
Achronos said:
What's that Christian dating site? Christian Mingle? Oh lawdy.
My youngest sister met her current boyfriend on there. I'll let you know how it goes.
What age?
She's 26. He's somewhere in his 30s.
 

vamrat

Merarches
Joined
Jun 4, 2010
Messages
9,471
Reaction score
0
Points
36
Age
36
Location
Omaha
Achronos said:
I'll get to vamrat soon but.
I would be more than happy to answer any questions or make clarifications.  I might as well get some use out of several pathetic years of online dating!
 

Asteriktos

Strategos
Joined
Oct 4, 2002
Messages
39,563
Reaction score
313
Points
83
Ok, so I was at this bar the other night called The Blue Oyster, and I got to talking with this guy. He said he was a model scout and I was perfect for an upcoming calendar he was putting together. I was so stoked! Anyway, he said the only thing was that it was a really high quality one, and only the best of the best could get in. So basically he just wanted to check out to make sure I was worthy of being on it. Well I'm sorta shy so I suggested something more private. He said the bathroom, but I was like, no way, that's not private enough for me to take my shirt off in! So I suggested maybe my apartment, and he seemed fine with that. We get back to my place and I take off my shirt to show him, and he started getting very aggressive and I was quite uncomfortable and asked him to leave. He got mad and was going, but then I remembered that he said I'd have to pay $500 for an administrative fee to get in, so I chased him down in the hall and gave him the cash. Anyway, so the thing is, I don't want to blow my chance to get in this calendar! He gave me his business card when we first met... do you think I should call him and apologize, or just wait for him to call me, or what? It's been 2 1/2 days since I saw him.
 

Punch

Taxiarches
Joined
Aug 24, 2006
Messages
5,799
Reaction score
0
Points
0
Age
59
Location
Omaha, Nebraska
Asteriktos said:
Ok, so I was at this bar the other night called The Blue Oyster, and I got to talking with this guy. He said he was a model scout and I was perfect for an upcoming calendar he was putting together. I was so stoked! Anyway, he said the only thing was that it was a really high quality one, and only the best of the best could get in. So basically he just wanted to check out to make sure I was worthy of being on it. Well I'm sorta shy so I suggested something more private. He said the bathroom, but I was like, no way, that's not private enough for me to take my shirt off in! So I suggested maybe my apartment, and he seemed fine with that. We get back to my place and I take off my shirt to show him, and he started getting very aggressive and I was quite uncomfortable and asked him to leave. He got mad and was going, but then I remembered that he said I'd have to pay $500 for an administrative fee to get in, so I chased him down in the hall and gave him the cash. Anyway, so the thing is, I don't want to blow my chance to get in this calendar! He gave me his business card when we first met... do you think I should call him and apologize, or just wait for him to call me, or what? It's been 2 1/2 days since I saw him.
I admire your decency, and I think that you did the right thing.  However, when it comes to blowing things, your chances for getting on that calendar are pretty high on the list.
 

Asteriktos

Strategos
Joined
Oct 4, 2002
Messages
39,563
Reaction score
313
Points
83
Punch said:
I admire your decency, and I think that you did the right thing.  However, when it comes to blowing things, your chances for getting on that calendar are pretty high on the list.
Yeah, it seems so. I decided to call him this morning and try to smooth things over. He said his partner that is working on the calendar with him already promised the final spot to some other guy. If I had only sealed the deal last night I could have got on it, but alas, that didn't happen. He did promise to keep me on a list in case someone else can't do it though. And more importantly he told me that he is about to begin on another project--and a bigger one than the calendar!--and he thinks I'll be perfect for it. It's a straight-to-video movie that they are filming out on Long Island. He said it would require some nudity, but assured me that it would be tastefully done. I know this is legit though because he said I'd have to go get blood tests done to show that I didn't have any diseases or anything... so you know these guys care about the safety of their actors! Anyway, I guess everything is working out for the best! Dolf (the guy I met at the bar) even said I could stay at his place when I'm out in NY. This is gonna be great!
 

That person

OC.Net Guru
Joined
Dec 11, 2009
Messages
1,166
Reaction score
0
Points
0
Sounds like quite an opportunity. Do they have a working title?
 

Asteriktos

Strategos
Joined
Oct 4, 2002
Messages
39,563
Reaction score
313
Points
83
They actually have the official title, because he said they have done this a thousand times, and they plan everything out in advance, that way when the filming is done they can get through post-production quickly and get it out to these "specialty shops" they work with. The title is set to be Johnny's Jackhammer. Not sure what it's about yet, but from the title and location I'm assuming it'll be about construction on the mean streets of Long Island.
 

Azurestone

Protokentarchos
Joined
Jul 15, 2010
Messages
3,922
Reaction score
2
Points
38
A children's show like Mighty Machines, no doubt.
 

That person

OC.Net Guru
Joined
Dec 11, 2009
Messages
1,166
Reaction score
0
Points
0
So I'm hoping to get my license soon, which should increase my chances of successfully arranging dates. I'll likely be using a Toyota Corolla primarily. Do guys who drive small cars have any stereotypes associated with them comparable to guys who drive big cars, but the opposite?
 

Azurestone

Protokentarchos
Joined
Jul 15, 2010
Messages
3,922
Reaction score
2
Points
38
That person said:
Do guys who drive small cars have any stereotypes associated with them comparable to guys who drive big cars, but the opposite?
Yeah. Poor.
 

vamrat

Merarches
Joined
Jun 4, 2010
Messages
9,471
Reaction score
0
Points
36
Age
36
Location
Omaha
That person said:
So I'm hoping to get my license soon, which should increase my chances of successfully arranging dates. I'll likely be using a Toyota Corolla primarily. Do guys who drive small cars have any stereotypes associated with them comparable to guys who drive big cars, but the opposite?
If she has a problem with the car you drive, then she isn't worth it.

Here's one tip for you - go on three dates and if there isn't a spark and she isn't showing interest drop her. 
 

JamesR

Taxiarches
Joined
Nov 4, 2011
Messages
6,924
Reaction score
2
Points
0
Age
25
Location
The Underground
Asteriktos said:
I'm looking for a special lady to enjoy my company and appreciate my brilliance. If you meet the following qualifications, you will private message me, and I will then let you know whether I want to go forward with a relationship.

Qualifications
- No kids. Also, you must not have any kids of your own.
- Red hair preferred. Natural redheads only. Imposters will be severely punished. This will be verified during the first meeting.
- Breasts no bigger than a C cup, but no smaller than a B cup.
- Green eyes a plus, but I can work with brown eyes if you also have brown or black hair.
- Glasses a plus. Contact wearers need not apply.
- Long toes.
- Large tush. Bubble butts will be accepted or rejected depending on comparison of butt-to-breast proportions.
- Intelligent, but not smarter than me. (Exception: must be smarter than me in culinary and other related skills).
- Between 5'2" and 5'4"
- Between 125 and 145 lbs. Exceptions to this (within a 5 pound margin) must have good justification.
- Low maintenance.
- Must be "open minded" in the bedroom.
- Must be a liberal: philosophically, politically, religiously.
- Must enjoy reading.
- Must enjoy watching sports.
- Should have a graduate degree, or be preparing to enter a program in pursuit of such a degree.
- Must find bald men irresistable.
- Likes heavy metal music, horror movies, and various other forms of low-brow entertainment.
- No pro wrestling fans.
- Familiarity with Star Trek highly desired.
- Must be able to meet personal grooming requests.
Sounds like you are going to need more than one woman...
 

Asteriktos

Strategos
Joined
Oct 4, 2002
Messages
39,563
Reaction score
313
Points
83
JamesR said:
Sounds like you are going to need more than one woman...
I am open to that scenario, though think it unlikely that it could work out over a period of several years or more. Some have found a way though, so there is hope...

However, interestingly, the fantasy list aside, when I think about someone who I've actually met in real life who I thought I fit best with, she only had about half of the 21 listed qualifications  ??? 8)
 

That person

OC.Net Guru
Joined
Dec 11, 2009
Messages
1,166
Reaction score
0
Points
0
vamrat said:
If she has a problem with the car you drive, then she isn't worth it.
I figured as much, but what if the car I drive would make her think better of me? Or certain aspects of me anyway.

It doesn't really matter. Most girls at my school are too sheltered to get the ins and outs of phallic stereotypes.
 
Top