Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column

[Achronos]

+ good looks (whatever *that* means), intelligence, wit, wisdom, gracefulness, lots of $$, fast muscle cars ( :), humility (but not *too* much), pride (but not *too* much), not farting in public (at least not when you're with or near a woman you want to attract), a willingness to watch "chick flicks"....need I go on?

So what J Michael is saying here is you basically have to be me to get women.

 

[vamrat]

I could use some advice. How does one attract a woman?

When I figure that out I'll sure as hell tell you nothing!  I won't be needing the competition!

 

[J Michael]

+ good looks (whatever *that* means), intelligence, wit, wisdom, gracefulness, lots of $$, fast muscle cars ( :), humility (but not *too* much), pride (but not *too* much), not farting in public (at least not when you're with or near a woman you want to attract), a willingness to watch "chick flicks"....need I go on?

So what J Michael is saying here is you basically have to be me to get women.

You got it:

(What I was saying about good looks??  That's overrated.)

 

[Asteriktos]

You need a good pick up line. Something like: "Hey baby... you wanna find out why the ladies nicknamed me Buff Hardbody?"

 

[dzheremi]

I watch a lot of Discovery Channel, so I like to think of myself as something of an expert on the female species. If you want to attract one, you must try rolling around in something.

 

[vamrat]

To all my well wishers, I've just had one of the best dates of my life.  We got about half an hour in and discovered a major difference in religious principals.  She said, "So, yeah, this probably isn't..." and trailed off.  "Nope.  Probably not." I said.  We sat in awkward silence for a moment or two and I said, "Well, we can go our separate ways and never talk again or we can make the most of dinner and get to know one another a little more and become friends."  She perked up immediately and we talked for almost an hour more.

Oh, and she said that I need to update my dating site pictures.  Most people put their good ones up and are a few points uglier.  I, on the other hand am much hotter in real life than in my outdated pictures!

 

[Achronos]

I watch a lot of Discovery Channel, so I like to think of myself as something of an expert on the female species. If you want to attract one, you must try rolling around in something.

you and me baby aint nothing but mammals so lets do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

 

[Achronos]

To all my well wishers, I've just had one of the best dates of my life.  We got about half an hour in and discovered a major difference in religious principals.  She said, "So, yeah, this probably isn't..." and trailed off.  "Nope.  Probably not." I said.  We sat in awkward silence for a moment or two and I said, "Well, we can go our separate ways and never talk again or we can make the most of dinner and get to know one another a little more and become friends."  She perked up immediately and we talked for almost an hour more.

Oh, and she said that I need to update my dating site pictures.  Most people put their good ones up and are a few points uglier.  I, on the other hand am much hotter in real life than in my outdated pictures!

Let's see the photos.

Glad to hear it went good besides the religious differences.

 

[Asteriktos]

To all my well wishers, I've just had one of the best dates of my life.  We got about half an hour in and discovered a major difference in religious principals.  She said, "So, yeah, this probably isn't..." and trailed off.  "Nope.  Probably not." I said.  We sat in awkward silence for a moment or two and I said, "Well, we can go our separate ways and never talk again or we can make the most of dinner and get to know one another a little more and become friends."  She perked up immediately and we talked for almost an hour more.

Oh, and she said that I need to update my dating site pictures.  Most people put their good ones up and are a few points uglier.  I, on the other hand am much hotter in real life than in my outdated pictures!

Fwiw I've always had a man-crush on you!  ;D  But glad the date didn't sink like the titanic>>>

 

[Achronos]

To all my well wishers, I've just had one of the best dates of my life.  We got about half an hour in and discovered a major difference in religious principals.  She said, "So, yeah, this probably isn't..." and trailed off.  "Nope.  Probably not." I said.  We sat in awkward silence for a moment or two and I said, "Well, we can go our separate ways and never talk again or we can make the most of dinner and get to know one another a little more and become friends."  She perked up immediately and we talked for almost an hour more.

Oh, and she said that I need to update my dating site pictures.  Most people put their good ones up and are a few points uglier.  I, on the other hand am much hotter in real life than in my outdated pictures!

Fwiw I've always had a man-crush on you!  ;D  But glad the date didn't sink like the titanic>>>

If it was as small as the ark maybe.

 

[dzheremi]

I watch a lot of Discovery Channel, so I like to think of myself as something of an expert on the female species. If you want to attract one, you must try rolling around in something.

you and me baby aint nothing but mammals so lets do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

Wow. I had completely forgotten that that song exists.

Yep. I'm pretty sure I hate you now.

 

[Hiwot]

I watch a lot of Discovery Channel, so I like to think of myself as something of an expert on the female species. If you want to attract one, you must try rolling around in something.

you and me baby aint nothing but mammals so lets do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

can you hear the drums ? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7AEV7kKifo

 

[vamrat]

To all my well wishers, I've just had one of the best dates of my life.  We got about half an hour in and discovered a major difference in religious principals.  She said, "So, yeah, this probably isn't..." and trailed off.  "Nope.  Probably not." I said.  We sat in awkward silence for a moment or two and I said, "Well, we can go our separate ways and never talk again or we can make the most of dinner and get to know one another a little more and become friends."  She perked up immediately and we talked for almost an hour more.

Oh, and she said that I need to update my dating site pictures.  Most people put their good ones up and are a few points uglier.  I, on the other hand am much hotter in real life than in my outdated pictures!

Let's see the photos.

Glad to hear it went good besides the religious differences.

Are you and I friends on Facebook?

 

[Punch]

I could use some advice. How does one attract a woman?

Money.

 

[Hiwot]

To all my well wishers, I've just had one of the best dates of my life.  We got about half an hour in and discovered a major difference in religious principals.  She said, "So, yeah, this probably isn't..." and trailed off.  "Nope.  Probably not." I said.  We sat in awkward silence for a moment or two and I said, "Well, we can go our separate ways and never talk again or we can make the most of dinner and get to know one another a little more and become friends."  She perked up immediately and we talked for almost an hour more.

Oh, and she said that I need to update my dating site pictures.  Most people put their good ones up and are a few points uglier.  I, on the other hand am much hotter in real life than in my outdated pictures!

Vamrat thats wonderful and a great start , you guys took out the stress factor and just focused on having fun , that made it possible to enjoy your time together. very cool! ;D

 

[Hiwot]

I could use some advice. How does one attract a woman?

depends on what kind you want to attract my bro 

 

[vamrat]

To all my well wishers, I've just had one of the best dates of my life.  We got about half an hour in and discovered a major difference in religious principals.  She said, "So, yeah, this probably isn't..." and trailed off.  "Nope.  Probably not." I said.  We sat in awkward silence for a moment or two and I said, "Well, we can go our separate ways and never talk again or we can make the most of dinner and get to know one another a little more and become friends."  She perked up immediately and we talked for almost an hour more.

Oh, and she said that I need to update my dating site pictures.  Most people put their good ones up and are a few points uglier.  I, on the other hand am much hotter in real life than in my outdated pictures!

Vamrat thats wonderful and a great start , you guys took out the stress factor and just focused on having fun , that made it possible to enjoy your time together. very cool! ;D

Thanks.  Back tot he akathists for me!

 

[Achronos]

To all my well wishers, I've just had one of the best dates of my life.  We got about half an hour in and discovered a major difference in religious principals.  She said, "So, yeah, this probably isn't..." and trailed off.  "Nope.  Probably not." I said.  We sat in awkward silence for a moment or two and I said, "Well, we can go our separate ways and never talk again or we can make the most of dinner and get to know one another a little more and become friends."  She perked up immediately and we talked for almost an hour more.

Oh, and she said that I need to update my dating site pictures.  Most people put their good ones up and are a few points uglier.  I, on the other hand am much hotter in real life than in my outdated pictures!

Let's see the photos.

Glad to hear it went good besides the religious differences.

Are you and I friends on Facebook?

PM me your link.

I may have tried to add you.

 

[LizaSymonenko]

Oh, and she said that I need to update my dating site pictures.  Most people put their good ones up and are a few points uglier.  I, on the other hand am much hotter in real life than in my outdated pictures!

...just saying, ...that going by your profile picture on Facebook....I think most girls would turn and run. 

 

[vamrat]

Oh, and she said that I need to update my dating site pictures.  Most people put their good ones up and are a few points uglier.  I, on the other hand am much hotter in real life than in my outdated pictures!

...just saying, ...that going by your profile picture on Facebook....I think most girls would turn and run. 

 

[LizaSymonenko]

Ya....that's the one.    ;D

 

[Achronos]

Move over Ayn Rand icon of castration...

 

[dzheremi]

Whelp...celibacy just got a lot easier...yikes!

 

[Asteriktos]

Just like Dad...

 

[Cognomen]

To all my well wishers, I've just had one of the best dates of my life.  We got about half an hour in and discovered a major difference in religious principals.  She said, "So, yeah, this probably isn't..." and trailed off.  "Nope.  Probably not." I said.  We sat in awkward silence for a moment or two and I said, "Well, we can go our separate ways and never talk again or we can make the most of dinner and get to know one another a little more and become friends."  She perked up immediately and we talked for almost an hour more.

Nice!

I'm beginning to worry about your fixation on Yolandi Visser though.

 

[vamrat]

To all my well wishers, I've just had one of the best dates of my life.  We got about half an hour in and discovered a major difference in religious principals.  She said, "So, yeah, this probably isn't..." and trailed off.  "Nope.  Probably not." I said.  We sat in awkward silence for a moment or two and I said, "Well, we can go our separate ways and never talk again or we can make the most of dinner and get to know one another a little more and become friends."  She perked up immediately and we talked for almost an hour more.

Nice!

I'm beginning to worry about your fixation on Yolandi Visser though.

She's the third sexiest woman I've ever lusted after.  

I might ask her to marry me.

 

[J Michael]

To all my well wishers, I've just had one of the best dates of my life.  We got about half an hour in and discovered a major difference in religious principals.  She said, "So, yeah, this probably isn't..." and trailed off.  "Nope.  Probably not." I said.  We sat in awkward silence for a moment or two and I said, "Well, we can go our separate ways and never talk again or we can make the most of dinner and get to know one another a little more and become friends."  She perked up immediately and we talked for almost an hour more.

Nice!

I'm beginning to worry about your fixation on Yolandi Visser though.

She's the third sexiest woman I've ever lusted after.  

I might ask her to marry me.

What's the prize for guessing who are #1 and #2?

(I vote for amartin  :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh

Or maybe....

 

[Asteriktos]

#2 is...

 

[J Michael]

#2 is...

ROTFL :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Guess vamrat's all set now, eh  ;D?

 

[vamrat]

I was joking about the #3 bit. 

#'s 1 and 2 I've actually dated.  I don't consider movie stars or whathaveyou as proper full blown lust.  To properly lust you have to really want to complete the action, as it were.  I don't concentrate on impossibilities (i.e. me and Sandra Bullock...not happening.  Ever.)  Thus, it's not really lust.  It's still sinful, but I'm not sure if it's lust.

Also note that the prettiest woman I've ever seen is not one that I have lusted after.  She was married and Orthodox.  I have some boundaries.

 

[Asteriktos]

Also note that the prettiest woman I've ever seen is not one that I have lusted after.  She was married and Orthodox.  I have some boundaries.

This is good. The world needs men like you. Men of conscience. Men of principle. Men who can sleep at night.* The world also needs men like me, who would lust after such a woman with the fury of a thousand gods. If there were no wicked men like me, how would anyone discern the goodness of men like you? You're welcome.



(I stole this phrasing from somewhere else, but men like me don't give credit to those who deserve it)

 

[Asteriktos]

ROTFL :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Guess vamrat's all set now, eh  ;D?

I'm still searching for #1...  :angel:

 

[J Michael]

ROTFL :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Guess vamrat's all set now, eh  ;D?

I'm still searching for #1...  :angel:

For you?  Or for vamrat?

 

[Asteriktos]

ROTFL :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Guess vamrat's all set now, eh  ;D?

I'm still searching for #1...  :angel:

For you?  Or for vamrat?

I found my #1 for me (just wish she wasn't married, had several kids, lived quite a distance from me, wasn't a former tharapist of mine, and... er... wait... I've said too much already ).  I mean vamrat's...

 

[vamrat]

ROTFL :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Guess vamrat's all set now, eh  ;D?

I'm still searching for #1...  :angel:

For you?  Or for vamrat?

I found my #1 for me (just wish she wasn't married, had several kids, lived quite a distance from me, wasn't a former tharapist of mine, and... er... wait... I've said too much already ).  I mean vamrat's...

I don't even want to know which sea monster you intend to dredge up to defame my choice in women...

 

[J Michael]

ROTFL :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Guess vamrat's all set now, eh  ;D?

I'm still searching for #1...  :angel:

For you?  Or for vamrat?

I found my #1 for me (just wish she wasn't married, had several kids, lived quite a distance from me, wasn't a former tharapist of mine, and... er... wait... I've said too much already ).  I mean vamrat's...

In that case, I refer you back to my reply #706 above  ;D.  If I'm not mistaken (who, me??) I'm pretty sure the pic is amartin's.  Dead-ringer for Rosie O. ;D

 

[ironchapman]

Still searching for someone...

 

[ZealousZeal]

This thread is so fun.

 

[Punch]

There isn't enough Viagra in the whole world . . .

There are other pictures of her, however, that confuse a certain part of my anatomy.

 

[Punch]

#2 is...

I'm sorry, but that literally scared the stuff out of me.  I am going to sign off so that I can complete a skivvies check.  Thank God I carry a spare pair with me.