Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column

ironchapman

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Cyrillic said:
ironchapman said:
Bump, because my dating/romantic life is still nonexistent
Rejoice! Of all the irrational creatures women are the most difficult.
So what does that say for those of us who are interested in spending the rest of our lives with one?*

*=pending the discovery of this particular one.
 

TheTrisagion

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ironchapman said:
Cyrillic said:
ironchapman said:
Bump, because my dating/romantic life is still nonexistent
Rejoice! Of all the irrational creatures women are the most difficult.
So what does that say for those of us who are interested in spending the rest of our lives with one?*

*=pending the discovery of this particular one.
If life were not full of challenges, it would quickly become dull.  Women exist to create tension in the world.  ;D
 

dzheremi

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ironchapman said:
Cyrillic said:
ironchapman said:
Bump, because my dating/romantic life is still nonexistent
Rejoice! Of all the irrational creatures women are the most difficult.
So what does that say for those of us who are interested in spending the rest of our lives with one?*

*=pending the discovery of this particular one.
That we're just as ridiculous and irrational as they are?
 

Asteriktos

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So every weekend the local volunteer fire department has a club type thing, where they'll get a local DJ to come in and rock it. Yo. Anyway, so there is some fly honeys there sometimes so I go when I can to scope out the ladies and see who I can. Well this past Saturday I was all up in the club proceeding to get jiggily with it, and this hot mama comes up to me and says something. Well they're playing Everybody Dance Now by C&C, so I can't hear what she's saying. So we go outside and start talking, and apparently she had been working up the courage to come talk to me all night. She said she normally had a wing woman, which made her more confident, but that her friend bailed on her at the last minute because they were having a sale at The Gap. Well who wouldn't, ya know? Wish I'd known about it myself. Anyway, so we got to talking about whatever, I wasn't really paying attention, but suddenly I start listening and the first thing I hear is "I want to tear you apart". Woh. Well I was confused, to say the least. I guess she's into the whole "alpha woman" movement, she doesn't white knight it, she just says what she thinks and that's that. Now normally I would kiss her with the fury of a thousand gods, but I was thinking maybe I should go easy here? Maybe let her take the lead and be assertive and make the decisions? I don't want her to think I can't make up my mind for myself, or make sound decisions, that's why I'm posting this here for you anonymous internet people to advise me in what exactly I should do. My fate is in your hands.
 

TheTrisagion

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Run away!!!!  There is no sale going on at the Gap, so clearly she is not to be trusted.  8)
 

J Michael

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Asteriktos said:
So every weekend the local volunteer fire department has a club type thing, where they'll get a local DJ to come in and rock it. Yo. Anyway, so there is some fly honeys there sometimes so I go when I can to scope out the ladies and see who I can. Well this past Saturday I was all up in the club proceeding to get jiggily with it, and this hot mama comes up to me and says something. Well they're playing Everybody Dance Now by C&C, so I can't hear what she's saying. So we go outside and start talking, and apparently she had been working up the courage to come talk to me all night. She said she normally had a wing woman, which made her more confident, but that her friend bailed on her at the last minute because they were having a sale at The Gap. Well who wouldn't, ya know? Wish I'd known about it myself. Anyway, so we got to talking about whatever, I wasn't really paying attention, but suddenly I start listening and the first thing I hear is "I want to tear you apart". Woh. Well I was confused, to say the least. I guess she's into the whole "alpha woman" movement, she doesn't white knight it, she just says what she thinks and that's that. Now normally I would kiss her with the fury of a thousand gods, but I was thinking maybe I should go easy here? Maybe let her take the lead and be assertive and make the decisions? I don't want her to think I can't make up my mind for myself, or make sound decisions, that's why I'm posting this here for you anonymous internet people to advise me in what exactly I should do. My fate is in your hands.
LOL!

He's ba'aaaack. ;D
 

Asteriktos

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primuspilus said:
Ummmmm....

Ok, you're at a dance, and a woman says "I wanna tear you apart".....are you sure you werent in a remake of <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F681SZ7rXmQ">this movie???</a>

PP
She stole that line from a movie? I feel so manipulated! This girl I met wasn't even as good looking as the woman in that video... :(
 

Asteriktos

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TheTrisagion said:
Run away!!!!  There is no sale going on at the Gap, so clearly she is not to be trusted.  8)
More manipulation of me. I'm sick of being the nice guy who gets jerked around.  :-\
 

That person

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So I'm pretty sure I have a date Friday. This girl agreed to get some Chinese food for lunch and catch a matinee.

What do I do next?
 

JamesR

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Could a relationship work with a 17 year old male and 22 year old female? I met a new woman at my parish with a British accent that has me going wild, and I want to ask her out next week, but idk if it would work because of the age gap.
 

That person

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Age/2+7 no matter how old you look. Although you are over the age of consent in Britain, so maybe that could give you leverage?
 

vamrat

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JamesR said:
Could a relationship work with a 17 year old male and 22 year old female? I met a new woman at my parish with a British accent that has me going wild, and I want to ask her out next week, but idk if it would work because of the age gap.
Yes/no.  Whether it is yes or no will depend on roughly ten thousand other factors that have nothing to do with her accent.

First of all - if she is the sort that will date younger guys.  Many won't.  That will put a dead stop to things.
 

orthonorm

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vamrat said:
JamesR said:
Could a relationship work with a 17 year old male and 22 year old female? I met a new woman at my parish with a British accent that has me going wild, and I want to ask her out next week, but idk if it would work because of the age gap.
Yes/no.  Whether it is yes or no will depend on roughly ten thousand other factors that have nothing to do with her accent.

First of all - if she is the sort that will date younger guys.  Many won't.  That will put a dead stop to things.
He's likely half her height, much more important.

Half stop.
 

JamesR

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Well, she is taller than me (not surprising), but only by like two inches. She lives in the same town as me only five minutes away, which, is rather surprising since most people at my parish live 45-60 minutes away.
 

rebecca.ann

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17 and 22 isn't too bad, if you're 17 and out of/just about to be out of high school. If this isn't the case, well....not many 22yr old ladies want a high schooler no matter how old you look or mature you act.
 

Asteriktos

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Invite her out for an akathist. If it goes well, invite her to coffee afterwards. If it doesn't go well, tell her that you much respect her piety and drop the pursuit.
 

JamesR

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Achronos said:
Cyrillic said:
Achronos said:
Cyrillic said:
Don't listen to Achronos. Don't do it.
um why
The chance of success is very close to nil.
it is?

he still has a chance.

james ask her out on a date and enjoy yourself.

sheesh
Thanks. I'm going to go for it. I'll be graduated by mid December anyway. Any tips on dealing with an older woman?

EDIT: Also, if this ends in complete disaster--which it most likely will--what should I do? I'm not used to rejection.
 

orthonorm

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JamesR said:
Achronos said:
Cyrillic said:
Achronos said:
Cyrillic said:
Don't listen to Achronos. Don't do it.
um why
The chance of success is very close to nil.
it is?

he still has a chance.

james ask her out on a date and enjoy yourself.

sheesh
Thanks. I'm going to go for it. I'll be graduated by mid December anyway. Any tips on dealing with an older woman?

EDIT: Also, if this ends in complete disaster--which it most likely will--what should I do? I'm not used to rejection.
If manage to get to point where you can honestly claim it was a complete disaster, drinks are on me.
 

rebecca.ann

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JamesR said:
Achronos said:
Cyrillic said:
Achronos said:
Cyrillic said:
Don't listen to Achronos. Don't do it.
um why
The chance of success is very close to nil.
it is?

he still has a chance.

james ask her out on a date and enjoy yourself.

sheesh
Thanks. I'm going to go for it. I'll be graduated by mid December anyway. Any tips on dealing with an older woman?

EDIT: Also, if this ends in complete disaster--which it most likely will--what should I do? I'm not used to rejection.
Are you a good conversationalist? Or are you overly shy? A woman is a woman either way, so dealing with women in general is what you need to know about. Here is a legit tip; have confidence! Stop thinking it will most likely fail before you even ask her because most women I know, self included, confidence in a guy.

If she says no, keep it moving and don't take it personal. It happens, it sucks, it is life sometimes but if you don't ask you will never know.
 

Achronos

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can we petition jamesr on "the bachelor"?

maybe they got "the bachelor" in serbia we could send him to.
 

Opus118

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rebecca.ann said:
17 and 22 isn't too bad, if you're 17 and out of/just about to be out of high school. If this isn't the case, well....not many 22yr old ladies want a high schooler no matter how old you look or mature you act.
I think if you would add a couple of years on both sides of this equation, I would argue the point that you are making based on personal experience with multiple older women. Based on JamesR Avatar, I doubt this problem will occur. He needs longer hair, a sportcoat, a bowtie, familiarity with French and French cuisine,  and the dreaded pleated slacks that Schultz hates so much. Factual, but not really serious.
 

orthonorm

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Opus118 said:
rebecca.ann said:
17 and 22 isn't too bad, if you're 17 and out of/just about to be out of high school. If this isn't the case, well....not many 22yr old ladies want a high schooler no matter how old you look or mature you act.
I think if you would add a couple of years on both sides of this equation, I would argue the point that you are making based on personal experience with multiple older women. Based on JamesR Avatar, I doubt this problem will occur. He needs longer hair, a sportcoat, a bowtie, familiarity with French and French cuisine,  and the dreaded pleated slacks that Schultz hates so much. Factual, but not really serious.
You minx!
 

Asteriktos

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I had a strange facebook conversation with a family member and need some advice. My cousin has been married to this girl, Sarah, for about 4 years now. My cousin and I used to be almost like best friends, but somewhere in our 20s we drifted apart, mostly due to living too far away from each other. Anyway, so I see him a few times a year, we talk about what's been going on in our lives, that kinda stuff. So Sarah just messages me out of the blue on facebook (she's not a friend on there), and she says my cousin Blake doesn't treat her good, and that she is miserable, but she doesn't know what to do because she lost her job a couple months ago and has nowhere to go. So I didn't know what to say, cause that's kinda rough. I tried to figure out what options she had, like could she go live with her folks for a couple months, or some friends, or what?

Well finally she starts hinting that she would give whatever money she could to whoever would help her, that she'd help with housework, and so forth, and she started hinting that maybe she could move in with me. I didn't know what to say to that, so I just said that that sounded like it'd be awkward. Then she starts saying that she's been following me on facebook for months and she thinks we'd really connect and I should just give her a chance. At that point I was very confused, and I just said that she was like family with her being married to Blake and all, and it seemed weird, and she replied that we weren't really family, and that she was going to divorce Blake and then we could be together without any worries.

I told her that I didn't think that'd work, and tried to come up with all sorts of excuses, like how we had different interests, and how I'm 13 years younger than her, etc. Well that was a mistake, because she started getting mad and saying that she caught me several times looking at her at the family BBQ last summer, and how she knew she was my type from what Blake said about me, and on and on she went. I tried to calm her down, but she kept saying something like "well am I hot or not? well? well? well?"  So finally I admitted that, yes, I thought she was very attractive. But I said that wasn't really what was important here. After that she started to berate me, saying that my head was shaped like a block, that I looked like a balding dufus, and stuff like that. I mean, that may all be true, but she didn't have to be so mean about it.

Anyway, so finally she said something like "omg hes back i need 2 go but i luv you could you let me move in wit you? ttyl" and then she signed out. What do I do guys? A part of me says to tell Blake what is going on, because he deserves to know what she's up to, but then I'm afraid if I tell him he either won't believe me or will pick a fight with me. He is nicknamed Buff Blake after all. On the other hand, I am single... so...    but no, I can't do that... can I? I mean maybe I could let her sleep in the bedroom while I crash on the couch or something? Someone give me some advices I can use!
 

Asteriktos

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TheTrisagion said:
say whaaaaat??  ???
I keep getting into these situations because orthonorm won't help me. I've posted at least 10 problems I've had over the last few years in this thread, but not one word from him! Not one!
 
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