Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column

Cyrillic

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J Michael said:
hecma925 said:
TheTrisagion said:
J Michael said:
TheTrisagion said:
I now feel bad for derailing Asteriktos' discussion on his deep abiding love for the girl that he saw a video of and desires to discuss deep theology with.

Please continue, Asteriktos.  I apologize for my silly diversion.  :-[
That was going nowhere good.  Diversions and derailments were totally in order.
I fear my diversion did little to improve the quality of discourse.
Quality being highly subjective.  A real hobby horse is just as important to a girl on a video that you don't talk to.  Even though it was frustrating to have to brush her mane every other day, you could talk to her at least, right?
You talk to hobby horses?  REALLY??  Coooooool....................... ;D
They even have a book and a movie about it.

 

Asteriktos

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TheTrisagion said:
I now feel bad for derailing Asteriktos' discussion on his deep abiding love for the girl that he saw a video of and desires to discuss deep theology with.

Please continue, Asteriktos.  I apologize for my silly diversion.  :-[
I will invite her to engage in some cyber-prayer. An akathist, perhaps, that seems popular with the kids these days. Only good can come of it. I'll let you know how it goes, though you should be warned that I will have to be vague as a gentleman doesn't pray and tell.
 

TheTrisagion

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Asteriktos said:
TheTrisagion said:
I now feel bad for derailing Asteriktos' discussion on his deep abiding love for the girl that he saw a video of and desires to discuss deep theology with.

Please continue, Asteriktos.  I apologize for my silly diversion.  :-[
I will invite her to engage in some cyber-prayer. An akathist, perhaps, that seems popular with the kids these days. Only good can come of it. I'll let you know how it goes, though you should be warned that I will have to be vague as a gentleman doesn't pray and tell.
Make sure you have a cross handy.  One always needs protection just in case.
 

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If that heavenly blessed beauty turns out to be a demon in disguise ... I don't know that I'd want to go on in life!
 

Asteriktos

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Ok guys, which is more important in a mate: a pretty face, or a nice, round posterior?

In favor of the posterior...
- You'll look at it more
- More practical and useful
- Less likely to lose it's value with age
- Can keep you warm in the winter
- Guys will value your taste based on this

In favor of a pretty face...
- You are slightly more likely to wake up looking at this
- You are slightly more likely to kiss this
- Will be in slightly more photos than the posterior
- Bodily fluids are slightly less gross
- Girls will value your taste based on this

So which do you prefer? If you can only have one be great and the other average, which would you prefer greatness in?
 

J Michael

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Asteriktos said:
Ok guys, which is more important in a mate: a pretty face, or a nice, round posterior?

In favor of the posterior...
- You'll look at it more
- More practical and useful
- Less likely to lose it's value with age
- Can keep you warm in the winter
- Guys will value your taste based on this

In favor of a pretty face...
- You are slightly more likely to wake up looking at this
- You are slightly more likely to kiss this
- Will be in slightly more photos than the posterior
- Bodily fluids are slightly less gross
- Girls will value your taste based on this

So which do you prefer? If you can only have one be great and the other average, which would you prefer greatness in?
I guess it might depend a little bit on which one you spend the most time looking at and talking and listening to--provided, of course, that you actually do listen to your mate.  ;D
 

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Well, I guess you could listen to both. As my Father always said when listening to a posterior: "Your voice changed, but your breath smells the same."  I guess I didn't include those factors in the above post. But you have a good point--you ignore the sounds coming out of a woman's word-hole at your own peril. Faces can be important.. Men have died for lack of attentiveness with regard to that.  And admittedly I've always been a "face man" myself. I never understood the attitude of some guys who preferred an attractive body over an attractive face. Still, posteriors do have their advantages. Difficult call...
 

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We also need to deal with the guys, but let's focus on the women first. Women are generally superior, so it's best to establish the ideal or goal. Then we can deal with men in all our stupidity.
 

Apples

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Orthonorm never addressed one of the main purposes of this thread: how we can stop using our religion as an excuse to not have relationships.

Anyone have some insight into this? Most chicks are like not okay with no premarital sex unless they're religious themselves. So is the only option to hit on girls at coffee hour?
 

TheTrisagion

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Asteriktos said:
Ok guys, which is more important in a mate: a pretty face, or a nice, round posterior?

In favor of the posterior...
- You'll look at it more
- More practical and useful
- Less likely to lose it's value with age
- Can keep you warm in the winter
- Guys will value your taste based on this

In favor of a pretty face...
- You are slightly more likely to wake up looking at this
- You are slightly more likely to kiss this
- Will be in slightly more photos than the posterior
- Bodily fluids are slightly less gross
- Girls will value your taste based on this

So which do you prefer? If you can only have one be great and the other average, which would you prefer greatness in?
My requirements in order of importance.

1. Flat stomach
2. Pretty face
3. Other frontal "assets"
4. Nice butt
...
485.  Nice personality.

;D
 

Opus118

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Asteriktos said:
Ok guys, which is more important in a mate: a pretty face, or a nice, round posterior?

In favor of the posterior...
- You'll look at it more
- More practical and useful
- Less likely to lose it's value with age
- Can keep you warm in the winter
- Guys will value your taste based on this

In favor of a pretty face...
- You are slightly more likely to wake up looking at this
- You are slightly more likely to kiss this
- Will be in slightly more photos than the posterior
- Bodily fluids are slightly less gross
- Girls will value your taste based on this

So which do you prefer? If you can only have one be great and the other average, which would you prefer greatness in?
I prefer neither. This is a false dichotomy Asteriktos. May it disappear from your mind!

I have been praying that you will meet someone like the Meme Helpmeet Helena.


She is beautiful both on the outside and inside.

A woman who will kiss you with abandonment  and  swoon as you hold her in your arms, but at the same time will allow you to remain chaste for the sake of your higher calling.

She is a win-win situation Asteriktos. Do not give up on her. We have no idea on how to find such a woman, but I am sure there are women on this forum that can lead you towards this worthwhile goal.

 

Cyrillic

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William said:
Orthonorm never addressed one of the main purposes of this thread: how we can stop using our religion as an excuse to not have relationships.

Anyone have some insight into this? Most chicks are like not okay with no premarital sex unless they're religious themselves. So is the only option to hit on girls at coffee hour?
Now that's a good question.
 

Asteriktos

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Helpmeet Helena is one dreamy girl. And that's one of the 5% of my posts in this thread that are completely serious  :)
 

Asteriktos

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Cyrillic said:
William said:
Orthonorm never addressed one of the main purposes of this thread: how we can stop using our religion as an excuse to not have relationships.

Anyone have some insight into this? Most chicks are like not okay with no premarital sex unless they're religious themselves. So is the only option to hit on girls at coffee hour?
Now that's a good question.
You could always convert them I guess. Though it doesn't have to be at coffee hour that you meet a nice girl. I met a nice Orthodox girl on a yahoo discussion list. We were married a year later. (don't ask about how it turned out, you'll ruin my story, mkay?)  8)
 

Asteriktos

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As for relationship advice, a wise man once said that "any marriage where the female is allowed to speak and wear clothing is doomed to failure." 

Words to live by?
 

Asteriktos

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TheTrisagion said:
My requirements in order of importance.

1. Flat stomach
2. Pretty face
3. Other frontal "assets"
4. Nice butt
...
485.  Nice personality.

;D
Flat stomach at #1? Disgusting. Truly.
 

TheTrisagion

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Asteriktos said:
TheTrisagion said:
My requirements in order of importance.

1. Flat stomach
2. Pretty face
3. Other frontal "assets"
4. Nice butt
...
485.  Nice personality.

;D
Flat stomach at #1? Disgusting. Truly.
I'm sorry, I like petite, skinny women with a pretty face!  8)
 

Asteriktos

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Well that's great actually; you can have those, and I'll take the curvy, geeky women with the pretty faces and nice bottoms. Everyone is happy!
 

TheTrisagion

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Asteriktos said:
Well that's great actually; you can have those, and I'll take the curvy, geeky women with the pretty faces and nice bottoms. Everyone is happy!
I forgot to put this in.  It would be at number 3

3. Not a redhead.

;D
 

Asteriktos

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You just dropped out of my top 10 favorite people here  :'(

Falling for the media hype about "long and lean" and all that... I can accept. But one thing I will not countenance: the rejection of redheads.
 

Asteriktos

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I edited my post above. Not preferring curvy girls, well that's a choice, and I understand everyone has their preferences. But not liking redheads is a serious flaw that is hard to understand, let alone accept as, well, acceptable.
 

TheTrisagion

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Asteriktos said:
You just dropped out of my top 10 favorite people here  :'(

Falling for the media hype about "long and lean" and all that... I can accept. But one thing I will not countenance: the rejection of redheads.
I didn't say I liked "long".  I like short women.  My wife is a foot shorter than I am and skinny as a rail.  Yay me!  ;D

She did dye her hair red once.  It was an ugly time in our lives.  I was pretty sure we weren't going to make it through.
 

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I was not aware I was in the top 10!  Apparently, I have my work cut out for me to worm my way back into the elite strata of oc.net.
 

Asteriktos

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TheTrisagion said:
Asteriktos said:
You just dropped out of my top 10 favorite people here  :'(

Falling for the media hype about "long and lean" and all that... I can accept. But one thing I will not countenance: the rejection of redheads.
I didn't say I liked "long".  I like short women.
Well I stand corrected. I suppose it's not quite as bad then.

She did dye her hair red once.  It was an ugly time in our lives.  I was pretty sure we weren't going to make it through.
Nothing good comes of coloring* hair. Hmm, well maybe in some cases. I'm glad you got through it though!

TheTrisagion said:
I was not aware I was in the top 10!  Apparently, I have my work cut out for me to worm my way back into the elite strata of oc.net.
I will let you back in the top 10 on a temporary basis. What spot you were at cannot be divulged, but I'll just say that it will take some time for you to get as high as you were.

[This post is part of the 95%. Sort of. Mostly.]
 

J Michael

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Asteriktos said:
TheTrisagion said:
Asteriktos said:
You just dropped out of my top 10 favorite people here  :'(

Falling for the media hype about "long and lean" and all that... I can accept. But one thing I will not countenance: the rejection of redheads.
I didn't say I liked "long".  I like short women.
Well I stand corrected. I suppose it's not quite as bad then.

She did dye her hair red once.  It was an ugly time in our lives.  I was pretty sure we weren't going to make it through.
Nothing good comes of coloring* hair. Hmm, well maybe in some cases. I'm glad you got through it though!

TheTrisagion said:
I was not aware I was in the top 10!  Apparently, I have my work cut out for me to worm my way back into the elite strata of oc.net.
I will let you back in the top 10 on a temporary basis. What spot you were at cannot be divulged, but I'll just say that[size=10pt] it will take some time for you to get as high as you were.
[/size]

[This post is part of the 95%. Sort of. Mostly.]
Getting high ain't all it's cracked up to be.....
 

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Asteriktos said:
TheTrisagion said:
Asteriktos said:
You just dropped out of my top 10 favorite people here  :'(

Falling for the media hype about "long and lean" and all that... I can accept. But one thing I will not countenance: the rejection of redheads.
I didn't say I liked "long".  I like short women.
Well I stand corrected. I suppose it's not quite as bad then.

She did dye her hair red once.  It was an ugly time in our lives.  I was pretty sure we weren't going to make it through.
Nothing good comes of coloring* hair. Hmm, well maybe in some cases. I'm glad you got through it though!

TheTrisagion said:
I was not aware I was in the top 10!  Apparently, I have my work cut out for me to worm my way back into the elite strata of oc.net.
I will let you back in the top 10 on a temporary basis. What spot you were at cannot be divulged, but I'll just say that it will take some time for you to get as high as you were.

[This post is part of the 95%. Sort of. Mostly.]
I appreciate your confidence in me.  I shall strive not to disappoint you in the future.  Perhaps I shall post voluminous pictures of the Steelers to make up for it.  Although, this year, that might just be a tad painful.  :'(
 

Asteriktos

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TheTrisagion said:
Asteriktos said:
This is good! Your discernment powers must be at 11 :)  As it turns out I was sort of misleading in the last post. I actually already had messaged one of them--the first one. She messages me back, and we will begin a conversing-battle soon, with hopefully the victor being treated to dinner some time in September. It was good to get confirmation of making the right choice!
Well, lets be honest, it was her open demeanor and kind words that made her the clear choice.  I do appreciate your words of encouragement to me, however.
She stopped messaging me at some point. On the one hand I am glad, because I hate breaking off communication if someone is still expecting you to message them, or even worse having those "this isn't going to work" conversations. On the other hand, I don't know why she stopped messaging me, which leaves me wondering why. I bet she did a Google search for my username on there. If I did that kind of search of my name I'd probably be disturbed at what I found as well.
 

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How could someone as educated as me find you even remotely attractive? It's ludicrous.
 

Asteriktos

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Asteriktos said:
Either way, definitely an above average foot: long and slender and even (not a v shape), fairly long toes, not overly rough anywhere, no distracting tats or whatever, nice vascularity, just a nice looking foot, you know what I mean.
I forgot to mention here an important factor: not flat footed. I dislike when there is no curve to the foot and it is very flat and flattened looking.
 

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Asteriktos said:
Asteriktos said:
Either way, definitely an above average foot: long and slender and even (not a v shape), fairly long toes, not overly rough anywhere, no distracting tats or whatever, nice vascularity, just a nice looking foot, you know what I mean.
I forgot to mention here an important factor: not flat footed. I dislike when there is no curve to the foot and it is very flat and flattened looking.
TRUTH
 

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Asteriktos said:
Asteriktos said:
Either way, definitely an above average foot: long and slender and even (not a v shape), fairly long toes, not overly rough anywhere, no distracting tats or whatever, nice vascularity, just a nice looking foot, you know what I mean.
I forgot to mention here an important factor: not flat footed. I dislike when there is no curve to the foot and it is very flat and flattened looking.
Is this really a priority?
 

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i have flat feet and very short fat toes! (looks weird as the rest of me is not fat)
so 3 reasons not to marry asteriktos...
:p
 

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Cyrillic said:
Asteriktos said:
Asteriktos said:
Either way, definitely an above average foot: long and slender and even (not a v shape), fairly long toes, not overly rough anywhere, no distracting tats or whatever, nice vascularity, just a nice looking foot, you know what I mean.
I forgot to mention here an important factor: not flat footed. I dislike when there is no curve to the foot and it is very flat and flattened looking.
Is this really a priority?
It depends on what the rest of the foot looks like. If the rest of the foot is quite handsome, then probably not. If the rest of the foot is as ugly as a French pig, then yeah, it makes the problem significantly worse.
 

Asteriktos

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mabsoota said:
i have flat feet and very short fat toes! (looks weird as the rest of me is not fat)
so 3 reasons not to marry asteriktos...
:p
:( Now I am sad. I don't much like girls too big though, just curvy. And my most recent discovery is pretty flat chested and has little in the way of a round behind, so people are able to overcome their limitations IMO.  But short toes? :( That's a tough one...
 

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Right skin tone, but everything else is wrong. Think of Gillian Anderson, only pretty and thin and with darker hair.
 
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