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Orthonorm's Dating and Relationship Advice Column

AveChriste11

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Ah Ortho,

serious or joking?  Because most of this thread has been about making jokes.  ;D  You will need to do one of those weird smiley faces... if you're joking!  8)
 

Melodist

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Achronos said:
Listen ladies, men only have two emotions: horny and hungry. So if we don't have an erection, go and make us a sandwich.

Thanks!
Don't forget tired.
 

IsmiLiora

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You guys all clearly need Orthonorm's column.

And then he needs a woman to whip him into shape.*


End of story.

;)

(Although if his OP is right, he should have 5 or 6 nagging supporting him right now.)
 

montalo

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best and easiest piece of advice


the woman is always right
 

IsmiLiora

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Sometimes I wish you guys are hungry more often LOL.
 

Asteriktos

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montalo said:
The idea of being collared is the public act of submission in a master(mistress)/slave relationship. BDSM consists of the idea of a Dominant(Dom) and a Submissive(Sub). the M/S relationship takes this to the extreme, with the sub literally and willingly entering a slave relationship, in order to serve their master/mistress and please them, which in turn pleases and sastifies the sub. the collaring ceromony is the public sign of this
True doms require their slaves to get slave registry tattoos...  just sayin :)
 

Asteriktos

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Question #6: Ok, so I met this girl in my sociology class. When the teacher asked us to partner up for a project this girl came over to me and asked if I had a partner yet, and since I didn't she sat down and joined me. She seems so nice and sweet, like she smiles a lot and looks at me all the time. And not just regular eye contact, but she seems really interested in everything I have to say. She laughs at all my jokes as well, it's great. It does get a little awkward though because she touches me all the time when she laughs, like she'll touch my arm or something. Anyway, so she gave me her number in case I wanted to study together. I really like her! But how do I know if she's interested, and whether to ask her out or not? I think maybe I shouldn't, because she'd be flirting with me if she was interested, right?
 

Volnutt

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I should probably be subscribed to this thread for the rest of my life.  :laugh:
 

FormerReformer

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Asteriktos said:
Question #6: Ok, so I met this girl in my sociology class. When the teacher asked us to partner up for a project this girl came over to me and asked if I had a partner yet, and since I didn't she sat down and joined me. She seems so nice and sweet, like she smiles a lot and looks at me all the time. And not just regular eye contact, but she seems really interested in everything I have to say. She laughs at all my jokes as well, it's great. It does get a little awkward though because she touches me all the time when she laughs, like she'll touch my arm or something. Anyway, so she gave me her number in case I wanted to study together. I really like her! But how do I know if she's interested, and whether to ask her out or not? I think maybe I shouldn't, because she'd be flirting with me if she was interested, right?
ROFL
 

primuspilus

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Asteriktos said:
Question #6: Ok, so I met this girl in my sociology class. When the teacher asked us to partner up for a project this girl came over to me and asked if I had a partner yet, and since I didn't she sat down and joined me. She seems so nice and sweet, like she smiles a lot and looks at me all the time. And not just regular eye contact, but she seems really interested in everything I have to say. She laughs at all my jokes as well, it's great. It does get a little awkward though because she touches me all the time when she laughs, like she'll touch my arm or something. Anyway, so she gave me her number in case I wanted to study together. I really like her! But how do I know if she's interested, and whether to ask her out or not? I think maybe I shouldn't, because she'd be flirting with me if she was interested, right?
Watch your wallet mate.....

PP
 

Asteriktos

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Question #7: Ok, so I decided to call that girl I mentioned in my last post, because there is a test coming up and I really need to study some more. Here is how the conversation went:

[I call her and the phone is ringing, then she picks up]
Sarah: Hello?
Justin: Oh, uh, hi!
Sarah: Barry?
Justin: Um, no, it's Justin. From sociology class.
Sarah: Oh, right! What's up?
Justin: Well, you said maybe to call you if I wanted to study together, so I thought maybe we could set something up.
Sarah: Sure hun, how about tomorrow night?
Justin: Ok, do you want to meet at the school?
Sarah: Not really.
Justin: We could always go to the public library?
Sarah: Huh? No...
Justin: Well... er...
Sarah: How about your place?
Justin: Oh, my place? Yeah, I guess we could do that, if you want to...
Sarah: Definitely. Can't wait.
Justin: Right, I guess it's better, cause it'll be quieter and we can focus more on school work.
Sarah: Oh... yeah, school work...
Justin: So I'll see you tomorrow at my place? What time?
Sarah: Maybe 8?
Justin: At night?
Sarah: Sure, why not?
Justin: Oh, I just thought you'd come earlier so we'd have more time to study, that's all.
Sarah: I don't mind staying late.
Justin: Oh, ok, I don't mind studying late either, I'm a night owl.
Sarah: See you tomorrow.
[hangs up phone]

Ok, so we're all set up. She even texted me afterwards to confirm our "date," as she called it (since she was texting I guess she just didn't want to type out "study date"). Anyway, here's my problem: I've never had someone over to study with me. What should I expect? I know the obvious stuff to do: lots of lighting, no distractions like music, etc., so we can really focus on sociology. But what else? Like should I offer her a drink as soon as she gets here, or wait for a while, or what? Should it be soda or fruit juice, or just avoid the sweet stuff and stick with water? Should I sit across from her or beside her? Should we use two books or share one? Also, what if she keeps touching me again like I mentioned in my previous post? That could get awkard, who wants to be touched constantly by a girl you hardly know? If that happens would it be rude to cut the studying short? I told my buddy about Sarah coming over and he just laughed and said "About time. Good for you."  What does this mean? Is studying with someone really that different than studying alone? I really don't want to mess this up, if it works out this could be the key to me getting an A, and maybe even a good reference from this teacher when I transfer schools!
 

Asteriktos

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Achronos said:
She wants to have sex with you and all you can think about is studying.
Dude, if she wanted to have sex she'd be sending signals. Seriously, you know nothing about women.
 

primuspilus

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Asteriktos said:
Achronos said:
She wants to have sex with you and all you can think about is studying.
Dude, if she wanted to have sex she'd be sending signals. Seriously, you know nothing about women.
Ok, from someone who actually has been pretty successful with women and am currently married happily let me give you some advice.

Firstly, she's interested. Not with sex per se, but with you. Touching (also laughing and slapping your arm, touching your knee for a second while talking to you, etc) is signs of comfortability. If she was not interested at all with you (friends or otherwise) she would not firstly, call it a "date" nor be at your house. She would choose a neutral place. She also would most assuredly not be the one to suggest your place.

Secondly, she finds you disarming and easy to talk to. She would not come over so late and mentioning staying up late if she found you to be a tool.

Now, what to do. I would start by sitting diagonal until such time that sitting next to her is acceptable. Such as reading something she is reading or she asks you to "come here and take a look at this", etc. I would also find out what she likes for a snack. if she likes salad whip up something cheap and easy "in case she gets hungry". Coffee wouldn't hurt either. I wouldn't assume anything. Get to know each other. Talk a bit. Take a break from studying for 20 mins or so (salad and coffee or sammiches, or whatever) and let her talk. Ask her stuff like how she chose the school, what she plans to do after graduating, etc. Keep it light and let her dictate the pace. Her comfortability is paramount.

I will say you have one thing going in your favor. She at least finds you interesting. Where it leads (if you want it to lead anywhere) is really up to HER.....not you :)


PP
 

primuspilus

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katherineofdixie said:
primuspilus said:
Where it leads (if you want it to lead anywhere) is really up to HER.....not you :)
At last, a man who understands women.

;D
My wife would disagree a little bit but hey, I did land her so I had to do something right :)

PP
 

IsmiLiora

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You landed your wife?

:mad: ;)

Excuse me. We are not trout.
 

primuspilus

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IsmiLiora said:
You landed your wife?

:mad: ;)

Excuse me. We are not trout.
See? one reason my wife would disagree...my terminology is a bit.....off :)
However you are correct. landing the biggest trout gets you an award....landing the biggest wife gets you a higher grocery bill........

PP
 

vamrat

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IsmiLiora said:
You landed your wife?

:mad: ;)

Excuse me. We are not trout.
I thought he was referring to her as an airplane.  Not sure where one would go with that, but it is a funny mental image.  I hope I score me a Stuka someday.
 

IsmiLiora

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I was imaging him catching a fish and letting it (her) flop all over the ground while he said "YAHHHHOOOOO!"

;)
 

vamrat

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primuspilus said:
IsmiLiora said:
I was imaging him catching a fish and letting it (her) flop all over the ground while he said "YAHHHHOOOOO!"

;)
Thats pretty funny as I actually got her into fishing with me. She goes with me at least twice a week :0

PP
So, if she ever falls in and you pull her out you might get a chance to land her.  There, your poor word choices have now been justified.
 

NicholasMyra

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primuspilus said:
Asteriktos said:
Achronos said:
She wants to have sex with you and all you can think about is studying.
Dude, if she wanted to have sex she'd be sending signals. Seriously, you know nothing about women.
Ok, from someone who actually has been pretty successful with women and am currently married happily let me give you some advice.

Firstly, she's interested. Not with sex per se, but with you. Touching (also laughing and slapping your arm, touching your knee for a second while talking to you, etc) is signs of comfortability. If she was not interested at all with you (friends or otherwise) she would not firstly, call it a "date" nor be at your house. She would choose a neutral place. She also would most assuredly not be the one to suggest your place.

Secondly, she finds you disarming and easy to talk to. She would not come over so late and mentioning staying up late if she found you to be a tool.

Now, what to do. I would start by sitting diagonal until such time that sitting next to her is acceptable. Such as reading something she is reading or she asks you to "come here and take a look at this", etc. I would also find out what she likes for a snack. if she likes salad whip up something cheap and easy "in case she gets hungry". Coffee wouldn't hurt either. I wouldn't assume anything. Get to know each other. Talk a bit. Take a break from studying for 20 mins or so (salad and coffee or sammiches, or whatever) and let her talk. Ask her stuff like how she chose the school, what she plans to do after graduating, etc. Keep it light and let her dictate the pace. Her comfortability is paramount.

I will say you have one thing going in your favor. She at least finds you interesting. Where it leads (if you want it to lead anywhere) is really up to HER.....not you :)


PP
If you had to plan stuff out like this hours ahead of time just to land a broad (as Orthonorm would say) I would be a monk right now.  ;D
 

orthonorm

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I must resume this child of mine soon. My wisdom while helping within OC.net chat, I realize needs to be planted here where more can benefit.

If posters would just stop posting ridiculous threads . . . I could get back to doing the Lord's work.
 

IsmiLiora

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orthonorm said:
If posters would just stop posting ridiculous threads . . . I could get back to doing the Lord's work.
I want to be right at the gate when you try giving Him THAT excuse.
 

Melodist

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orthonorm said:
I must resume this child of mine soon. My wisdom while helping within OC.net chat, I realize needs to be planted here where more can benefit.

If posters would just stop posting ridiculous threads . . . I could get back to doing the Lord's work.
You could always end the schism and hopefully increase the availability of kosher women. That would be a noble worthwhile task.
 

IsmiLiora

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Believe me, you guys don't want Catholic girls. We're insane, and not in the good way.
 

Melodist

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IsmiLiora said:
Believe me, you guys don't want Catholic girls. We're insane, and not in the good way.
I dated one once. If I picked my church based only on the one person that I personally knew with the most personal holiness, I would have to be Catholic because of her.
 

IsmiLiora

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Aw, I'm just kidding around. Kind of (I am a little crazy and so are the people I grew up around). My husband preferred them, too (his Pentecostal parents LOVED that and LOVE that I've supposedly brought him to Orthodoxy). I wonder why?


Akimori - LMAO! I don't know what you're talking about.
 

Asteriktos

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Thanks for the advice, especially primuspilus, but it was for naught!  :(

I was at school today and I saw someone in the lounge that I recognized from my sociology class, so I said hello. We got to talking and she was really afraid of the test coming up and was probably going to withdraw from the course. I obviously didn't want to see that happen to anyone, so I invited her to the study sessions at my place. She didn't seem to want to come, but when I told her about Sarah being there as well she seemed a bit more at ease and agreed to come. Well, she got there about 7:30, and we started studying a bit. Then Sarah got there maybe 15 minutes later, and it all went downhill from there. Sarah walks into the living room and then just stopped, and got mad for some reason. "What the heck is this?" she asked, only she didn't say "heck".  I tried to explain why Desiree was here, but she wouldn't listen. I think the main thing that got Sarah mad is that I said "we could turn it into a threesome". What's the big deal? Three heads are better than one!  She just said something like "I'm not into that you sick frick," only she didn't say "frick". Then she left. Now she won't return my calls or texts.
 

IsmiLiora

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WAIT, I MUST KNOW IF THIS IS TRUE OR NOT. Oh, the drama!

(LOL the study part, not the threesome. At least I hope not. ;) )
 

Azurestone

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Asteriktos said:
I think the main thing that got Sarah mad is that I said "we could turn it into a threesome"
BWAHAHAHA! Probably not the best joke for the moment, but still funny.
 
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