BREAKING NEWS: Feb. 5, 2016
To view the rest of this breaking satire, please visit: http://www.eyeofthetiber.com/2016/02/05/francis-to-visit-kansas-to-commemorate-26th-anniversary-of-pope-michael-election-to-papacy/The Vatican has announced that Pope Francis will visit Kansas in July to commemorate the 26th anniversary of Pope Michael’s election to the papacy, just months before visiting Sweden to commemorate the 500th anniversary of the Protestant Reformation.
The announcement was made during the Week of Prayer for Christian Unity, where Francis asked forgiveness “for the sins of our divisions that were, one hundred percent of the time, caused by the Church.”
“It’s all our fault,” Francis told leaders from the Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, and atheist communities. “To the Muslim community, I ask forgiveness for beginning the crusades. To our protestant brethren, we ask forgiveness for everything we did to cause the Reformation. And we ask forgiveness to our Jewish brethren for everything that happened to your community in consequence of the crucifixion. Definitely our fault.”