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Question about marriage

Melodist

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What are the legal benefits of marriage and what is the practical difference between being married and just living together?

Just curious.
 

vamrat

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I am not married and am not a lawyer, but as far as I can tell it's mostly inheritance, insurance, and tax joint-filing that are the main things of marriage.  So there are some financial benefits though I have read that if both of you make a good bit of money and joint file you may have been better off being single and filing separately.  Marriage also deals with joint property (which seems to be one of the reasons that divorces get so sticky).

Benefits of cohabitation?  The big one would be that unless you live in a state with common law marriage, if there is a break up one party can't rob the other party blind.

The major legal difference between the two (once again, no common law) is that marriage is recognized by the State.  Cohabitation only matters as far as legal residence goes.

And all of this bears the caveat of each State being different.  What I have above is reasonably accurate for Nebraska, for other States (for instance, I believe that Iowa has common law marriages, NE does not) but if you live in California, all bets are off.
 

LizaSymonenko

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Well, if you plan to cohabitate and not share certain aspects that are reserved for married life, more power to you!  If you plan to share a bed, that I suggest marriage.

Why, you might ask?

Well, "sleeping" around....and that's exactly what cohabitation is without marriage leaves the parties involved feeling a void.  I don't care how much they claim to be "in love", if the partners cannot commit to each other than there's going to always linger this thought in the back the mind that you are not loved and are only being used for intimacy, to clean house, to be a companion...and yet, you are not good enough to be a true "part" of that person for life.

Of course, I am speaking from the female view point.  Don't know what guys think.

If you can't trust the other person enough...that you fear they will rob you blind in case of a divorce....then you shouldn't be wasting your time on them.

Benefits of marriage.....security.  Not only financial, but, other dimensional.  You finally have someone to trust, to open up to.  You can look lovingly across the room at your spouse and know he or she is "yours".  Brings a smile to your face. 

I don't know.

I am not married, but, I don't think I would settle to just "live" with someone....share his house, his bed....but, not sure about where his heart was.  No thanks.

Besides, cohabitation without being blessed by the Church....would ban the individuals from the Holy Gifts.  What would be the point of life, if you were banned from the Church?  What man's love (or woman's) is worth more than God's?

 

Melodist

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LizaSymonenko said:
Well, if you plan to
Thank you for your input. I don't have anyone in particular to do either with right now, so not I'm not seeking advice. I'm just curious about how the law defines marriage and trying to keep that legal definition distinct from any religious definition. Just clarifying the nature of my question.
 

vamrat

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Melodist said:
LizaSymonenko said:
Well, if you plan to
Thank you for your input. I don't have anyone in particular to do either with right now, so not I'm not seeking advice. I'm just curious about how the law defines marriage and trying to keep that legal definition distinct from any religious definition. Just clarifying the nature of my question.
That's what I figured you were after.  If I was going to comment on it from a moral standpoint I don't think I could have said it better than Liza did above.

As a side note, is there something you are angling towards?
 

orthonorm

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Melodist said:
What are the legal benefits of marriage and what is the practical difference between being married and just living together?

Just curious.
I've been married before solely for reasons which had nothing to do with having a "marriage".

The advantages and disadvantages differ situation to situation and from State to State.

I would certainly do it again for the reasons I did. We didn't even live together. It was NBD.

We can talk about it sometime if you would like.
 

Nicolai

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Hopefully Liza will know who this is!!

A little humor about marriage:

1. Competition for the premier parking spot in the driveway
2. Loss of closet space
3. "What's mine is mine and what's your is mine as well"
4. Huge water bills
5. Romantic getaways - the Kitchen does not count

These are just to name a few!!
 
 

LizaSymonenko

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Nicolai said:
Hopefully Liza will know who this is!!

A little humor about marriage:

1. Competition for the premier parking spot in the driveway
2. Loss of closet space
3. "What's mine is mine and what's your is mine as well"
4. Huge water bills
5. Romantic getaways - the Kitchen does not count

These are just to name a few!!
 

LOL!  ;)

There's no competition for best parking spot....as I am sure the gentlemen out there always offer that spot to their wives!!!

Closet space?  Why do guys need closet space?  Their clothes always end up in a pile on the floor, anyway.

Mine, yours....isn't that what the priest says upon marriage - "You are ONE"?

Huge water bills?  Well, they wouldn't be so huge, if the husbands set the sprinkler timings correctly.

Romantic getaways...no the kitchen wouldn't count...but, perhaps the dining room and a candlelit dinner.

It's all in how you see things!

 

Nicolai

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LOL  ;D

Except at our house it's who gets home first that gets the good spot !!! :angel:
 

Marc1152

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One major practical advantage of marriage is that it protects Women with children. The bum will have a harder time just walking away and dumping his family if they are legally married.
 

Nicolai

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@ Marc

Don't forget it works both ways! Many a wife have also left their hubby and children!  8) 
 

mabsoota

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lizasymonenko,
r u a nun?
or did the guys at orthodoxChristianity.net just get lucky?!
;)
 

IsmiLiora

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If you have a boyfriend, and you complain about him saying, "Ugh, my boyfriend," everyone else will question why you are in that relationship.

But if you are married, and say, "Ugh, my wife/husband," everyone will understand.  ;)

So basically, you get to be mean.
 

LizaSymonenko

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mabsoota said:
lizasymonenko,
r u a nun?
or did the guys at orthodoxChristianity.net just get lucky?!
;)
LOL!  Not disciplined enough to be a nun!
 

Hiwot

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mabsoota said:
lizasymonenko,
r u a nun?
or did the guys at orthodoxChristianity.net just get lucky?!
;)
I agree mabsoota, had I been a man , Liza would have just gotten herself a stalker period!
 

ironchapman

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Since it's kinda sorta related to this topic, I've got a question for you guys.

My apartment is co-ed, with two guys (including me) and one girl. I'm not romantically or sexually attracted to the girl, and each of us has separate bedrooms (well, they sleep together and leave the other room as a "guest room"). In fact, the other guy and her are engaged. I'm just here because I needed a room and this was the only place the complex had for me. I was originally supposed to be in an all guy apartment, but the guy whose room I was supposed to take decided to renew at the last minute after I had already signed my lease. This was the only place they had left for me, so I took it.

Would this present any problems in trying to join the Orthodox church?
 

IsmiLiora

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It sounds like you took the room because you needed to, and you two aren't in a relationship. I had to live in a mixed dorm when I was in college. No shenanigans happened. I mean, you can talk to your priest, but you didn't move in there with the intent to move in with a woman, and you're not in a relationship, so I can't see it as being an issue...

But I am a lowly catechumen. ;)
 

vamrat

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ironchapman said:
Since it's kinda sorta related to this topic, I've got a question for you guys.

My apartment is co-ed, with two guys (including me) and one girl. I'm not romantically or sexually attracted to the girl, and each of us has separate bedrooms (well, they sleep together and leave the other room as a "guest room"). In fact, the other guy and her are engaged. I'm just here because I needed a room and this was the only place the complex had for me. I was originally supposed to be in an all guy apartment, but the guy whose room I was supposed to take decided to renew at the last minute after I had already signed my lease. This was the only place they had left for me, so I took it.

Would this present any problems in trying to join the Orthodox church?
Like Ismi said, it's most likely going to be the intent that counts.  If you and the girl were the only ones living there then your intentions might come under suspicion, but as it is you're renting a room.
 

Achronos

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LizaSymonenko said:
Well, "sleeping" around....and that's exactly what cohabitation is without marriage leaves the parties involved feeling a void.  I don't care how much they claim to be "in love", if the partners cannot commit to each other than there's going to always linger this thought in the back the mind that you are not loved and are only being used for intimacy, to clean house, to be a companion...and yet, you are not good enough to be a true "part" of that person for life
That sounds awfully familar.
 

Achronos

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IsmiLiora said:
If you have a boyfriend, and you complain about him saying, "Ugh, my boyfriend," everyone else will question why you are in that relationship.

But if you are married, and say, "Ugh, my wife/husband," everyone will understand.  ;)

So basically, you get to be mean.
LOL true.
 
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