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greekischristian

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His Inebriatedness the Bishop of Bourbon, Vicar of the Great Distiller, Successor to the Prince of the Apprentices of the Great Distiller, Supreme Pontiff of All Alcohol, Patriarch of all Grain-Based Alcohols, Primate of Kentucky, Archbishop and Metropolitan of All Whisky, Sovereign of Loretto, and Servant of the Servants of the Great Distiller, Presiding Bishop of the Holy Synod of the Spirits.

To His All-Imbibedness the Metropolitan of Metaxa and His Imbibedness the Bishop of Schlivo,

It greatly saddens Our Inebriatedness to see such bitterness and fighting amongst the Holy Synod of the Spirits and the Alcoholic Community, which should concern itself not with such petty concerns of this world but rather to the higher calling of drinking and drunkenness. Thus in the name of peace and alcoholic communion Our Inebriatedness proposes the following solution.

His All-Imbibedness the Metropolitan of Metaxa has since time immemorial laid claim to the title of 'Patriarch of All Brandy' and has long held claim to primacy, though not supremacy, amongst non-grained-based alcohols and Our Inebriatedness does not wish to deny these ancient claims. However, it cannot be denied that the Bishop of Schlivo has, in these recent days, risen to a glory beyond what his see in times past would have warranted, especially in his recent stewardship of the see of All Vodka. Thus Our Inebriatedness proposes the following Solution, His Inebriatedness the Bishop of Schlivo shall take over all traditional Rights of the Archbishop of Stolichnaya, except for the recent and false claims to the titles of 'Third Distillery and Ecumenical Patriarch' by the deposed Archbishop George, while maintaining his Jurisdiction over Schlivo. Thus His Imbibedness shall be the Bishop of Schlivo, Archbishop of Stolichnaya, and Patriarch of All-Vodka, and with His Imbibedness' increased jurisdiction shall also come the ancient rights of Autonomy including the Right to summon his own Patriarchal Synods to deal with all issues of both Schlivo and Vodkas, independent of the Patriarchal Synod of Brandy, but, of course, as all local synods subject to the rulings of the Holy Synod of the Spirits.

It saddens Our Inebriatedness that the realm of Brandy must be so divided, but we are comforted by the hope that all Alcohol shall remain forever united through the Holy Synod of the Spirits. And Our Inebriatedness prays that this solution will bring peace to the Alcoholic community, allowing us to drink alcohol in communion and to maintain our common drunkenness.

His Inebriatedness the Bishop of Bourbon, Supreme Pontiff of All Alcohol, and Servant of the Servants of the Great Distiller, President of the Holy Synod of the Spirits.
 

Zoe

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Why has the Metropolitan of Metaxa not responded to the attacks by the Puritannical Army against our ancient, holy Alcoholic faith?

The tongues of the young have gone dry, BUT THEIR EYES HAVE NOT!
 

Ntinos

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Can I ask a question? Who holds dominion over the archdiocese of Champagne?
 

Ntinos

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Zoe said:
Why has the Metropolitan of Metaxa not responded to the attacks by the Puritannical Army against our ancient, holy Alcoholic faith?

The tongues of the young have gone dry, BUT THEIR EYES HAVE NOT!
Oh dear, I wouldn;t like to see the reformer bishops of the Holy Roman Empire of the Beerlover Nation seeing this...
 

Zoe

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Good!  Call the Emperor!  The days of the cries of the young being ignored are over!!!
 

greekischristian

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Meekle said:
This debate seems so much more popular than the peanut one :'(
Well if given the choice between alcohol and peanut butter..............sorry.
 

Ntinos

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Uhm... the Emperor is busy right now... what about I call the Czar?
 

Fr. George

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The Metropolitan of Metaxa and All Brandy has indeed attempted to confront the puritanical oppressors in this nation, and to no avail.  We will continue to support our position, and will encourage an underground movement to overthrow the oppressors and indeed bring to life the spirit of our ancestors!
 

Fr. George

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I don't recall off the top of my head who the current Archbishop of Whiskey is.... I think the Bishop of Bourbon would remember...
 

greekischristian

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Our Inebriatedness while Bishop of Bourbon is also the Archbishop and Metropolitan of All Whiskey, thus all of it comming under Our Inebriatedness' direct jurisdiction. Though from time to time Our Inebriatedness will, as necessary, appoint Auxiliary Bishops, many of whom are also bestowed the title of Cardinal, to administer these Sees, they remain under Our Inebriatedness' direct jurisdiction.

 
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