Right now, as far as I can recall, the makeup of the Holy Synod is such:
His Inebriatedness, Bishop of Bourbon and All Whiskey, Supreme Pontiff
His All-Imbibedness, Metropolitan of Metaxa and All Brandy, Chief Secretariat
His All-Imbibedness, Metropolitan of Mead and All Beer
His Imbibedness, Bishop of Schlivovitz and the Vodkas
His Imbibedness, Bishop of Champagne and all Wines
His Intoxicatedness, Bishop of Everclear and all Moonshines
His Intoxicatedness, Bishop of Baccardi and all Rum
I believe that a number of the seats are being held by loci tenens until elections come for the empty seats.
(It is difficult not having the official records in front of me at this moment).
I believe that all alchohols unaccounted for, such as "rubbing" and "mouthwash," fall under the Supreme Pontiff at the moment as "Alchohols of the Dispersed Intentions" until they are organized under a single diocese
Wait... only after 30+ pages it is starting to get weird?
I think making sure that all imbibers of alchohol and spirits are represented by hierarchs on the Holy Synod is an important issue, one that should be worked out ASAPD (As Soon As Possible while Drunk)
Well then - it should come back to the forefront then. We should solicit opinions of the members here about their positions on the situation, what can be done, and why we should do it. Then we should use the suggestions to apply political pressure to the puritanical tyrrants, while simultaneously supporting underground movements for overthrowing their terms and replacing them with representatives who are willing to shirk off this restrictive system of liquor control.
OK, well, I think one way to get the awareness out about our great Tradition is perhaps set up a booth sampling all the fine types of Alcoholic Beverages at things like Festivals and Parent-Teacher conferences where we can really reach the every-day citizen.
Hmmm... maybe if the Supreme Pontiff went on TV and spoke about this "revelation" and how it needs to be implemented, he could swing some of the folk to our position... that may be able to politically push us over the top...
Right... so we distribute the alchohol in parachute packs into the chimneys, and then once everyone tries the liquor (which will be 190 proof but labeled 40 proof) we will then boadcast the Supreme Pontiff's message...
I agree with you, no tricks are neccessary - however, overcoming the staunch opposition that has plagued our fair land for hundreds of years in favor of sobriety (clearly influenced by the Sober one) may require extreme measures.