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Share your liturgical mishap stories here!

Dominika

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Not during service, but at class, with one of Polish Orthodox archbishops. While answering him, I told "ojcze" ("father") instead of "władyko" (master, for hierarch). So I told sorry and during talk with him at break I said again exatly the same, "father". But thanks God, he knows me, so he just said "no problem". I can't imagine face of our metropolitan if I did something like this.
 

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A deacon of many years (and has censed possibly thousands of times) while censing the church during the reading of the hours, miscalculated the distance between the icon stand and the censer. The censer crashed against Christ, exploding coal fragments and sparks everywhere.
 

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Bishop's radisteri (sprinkler) turns into flogistro (flamethrower) - deacon averts catastrophe.
Right in front of Patriarch Theophilos III, nonetheless!
 

Dominika

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Bishop's radisteri (sprinkler) turns into flogistro (flamethrower) - deacon averts catastrophe.

Amazing.
BTW, on the left, there is Polish Orthodox bishop Jerzy :)
 

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Something I remembered:

During the paschal season, the reader beginning the hours starts with Paschal troparion X3. He wanted to do it in English, Greek, and Slavonic. On the second "Christ is risen" it ended up being " Χριστὸς ἀνέστη изъ мертвыхъ, Смертїю смерть поправъ..."
It happened again.
 

Dominika

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This year our parish choir at Paschal Night forgot to chant even single time "Jesus has risen from the grave as he had foretold" during the Paschal Canon.
 

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I think kind of important.
 

Dominika

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Patronal feast (st. Onuphrios) of Jabłeczna monastery - the oldest Orthodox monastery in (current) Poland and the unique one that hasnt' embraced at some point union with Catholic Church. It has two chapels placed in some distance, on fields, between forest and river Bug. So teh first two Liturgies place in them, and the main Lituryg is in the church of the monastery.

This year first time I've participated in this feast. I was at Liturgy at 1 AM in one of those chapels. Since jsut before tehre was big and quite long storms, often there was no electirc lgiht at the chapel and if it was not working so it was very dark. The Liturgy was served by bishop of Łódź and Poznań Atanazy. There were various problems at this Liturgy because of the circumanstaces (invasion of mosquitos, again rain at some point - and the chapel is so small that it has baerly place for altar and iconostas - etc.).

The time for the Epistle reading has come. There was normal prokimenon, then silence, and suddenly "alleluia". I thought maybe it was so short epistle reading and because of technical problems I haven't heard it. But one of my friends heard "It is not uploading". So there was no Epistle at Liturgy at all and it seems the reader wanted to read it from a smartphone application.
 

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I was at a liturgy many years ago, with an elderly priest, who skipped over the whole anaphora prayers as those pages had stuck together.
 

Dominika

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Liturgy for st. Elias feast, patron of the monastery I've attended Liturgy. The epistle chant*. The chante is old, appreciated Arab Orthodox psaltist (I know his name but maybe better to not give it in public). It seems he was chanting it from memory. At some point he realised he doesn't remember the whole text. The problem is also that he doesn't see well. He started chanting again previous line, in consequence changing meaning and making nonsense. My boyfriend said he had done a few more msitaeks but frankly didn't notice.


This year it seems I have "luck" for attending Liturgies with mish-aps with them. And it's always old monastery and patronal feast of it.
 

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One Holy Friday Vespers a new bier was used in the procession through an old doorway. The wood barely made the opening. Flowers were coming off as it was processed through the doorway. It was forced through anyway -s-l-o-w-l-y-;; half of the flowers attached to the bier ended up on the floor; you could hear each one popping off of the bier as it was forced through.

This one probably isn't terribly unusual; everyone had candles, including my wife, but unlike my wife others in the congregation were not catching their hair on fire. Lots of jokes later -e.g. "She really is on fire for God."

Funniest thing I have ever seen in church (mostly because of the reaction) wasn't liturgical or really a mishap. One of two older members who were sort of rivals at ribbing one another was sitting in the back of the church holding an empty cup which he had drained of water. As his rival passed he tossed a penny into the cup.
 
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