So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)

TheTrisagion

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Yes folks, it is true.  There I was sleeping in bed with my favorite horse and while I was sleeping, it aborted a pony that had found its way into into its womb.  I am unsure how to respond to this situation and am wondering if it would perhaps be best for everyone if I sent the horse to the glue factory as punishment for it's misdeed.  I am still unclear how a horse can perform an abortion given it only has hooves and is attached to a wooden rocker, but I can assure you that it did happen.  Do you think I should break off my relationship with said horse?  It does seem to be kind of a needy horse and requires brushing almost every day!  Stupid horses; all horses I know so far are complete psychopaths.

Picture of horse

 

hecma925

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A whor...er, horse is a horse, of course, of course.  No need for the glue factory, my friend.  It seems you have not made the mistake, but were merely enticed by that whorish horse.  Was it the kind horse face and toothy horse grin?  Instead of a glue factory, I encourage the dumpster as a better alternative.  Or you could burn it in a bonfire!  Are you the father?  Either way, it doesn't make a difference, because your whor, uh, rse is at fault here.
 

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I say neigh! Or is that nay?
 

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Why do you think this is funny? The guy is obviously under some extreme emotional duress after having his child killed.
 

TheTrisagion

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William said:
Why do you think this is funny? The guy is obviously under some extreme emotional duress after having his child killed.
Thank you, William.  I appreciate your sensitivity during this time of my life, but I will remind you, it was a pony, not my child that was killed.
 

hecma925

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Sleeping with horses is no laughing matter.  Especially when said slutty horse made him do it!  AND the horse aborted a pony.  How would you feel?  In your bed, no less.

EDIT:  Also, we don't even know if this horse was an abortion hobbyist.  It was a hobby horse that happened to be an abortionist horse.  Ergo, this is probably not the first time. 
 

TheTrisagion

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The language in the Bible never says I cannot sleep w/ a horse.  The original word for animal was αγελάδα which means "cow".  Clearly cows and horses are two very different things, so I feel that I am on pretty solid theological ground here.
 

hecma925

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Also, horses do not have the cloven hoof, no chew the cud.  You're clear from all temptation and sin.
 

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William said:
Why do you think this is funny? The guy is obviously under some extreme emotional duress after having his child killed.
Where does he refer to the child as his child?  If he does so at all, I missed it in all the assertions that the child was "her child" or God's child since "God conceived it".  

He's under some extreme something, but "emotional duress after having his child killed" isn't it.  
 

TheTrisagion

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hecma925 said:
Also, horses do not have the cloven hoof, no chew the cud.  You're clear from all temptation and sin.
Unfortunately, the same cannot be said of the horse.  I don't feel too bad for her though.  She put herself in this position. Filthy equine!  :mad:
 

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Then I am afraid you led her into temptation.  You probably also made the horse feel desperate to abort again after, I don't know...maybe eight horse abortions?  But do not feel shamed.  It's not in the Bible to not abort horses.
 
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Ponies are not baby horses. They're just a smaller animal that looks similar. Kind of like how emus aren't baby ostriches.
 

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hopeful-christian said:
Ponies are not baby horses. They're just a smaller animal that looks similar. Kind of like how emus aren't baby ostriches.
Your right!  I should have said foal instead.
 

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hecma925 said:
That explains it.  You are not the father!
So that whore horse was cheating on me!?!?! 

Now I am hot under the (horse)collar!  :mad:
 

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TheTrisagion said:
hecma925 said:
That explains it.  You are not the father!
So that whore horse was cheating on me!?!?! 

Now I am hot under the (horse)collar!  :mad:
Carefule with that bridle.  I'm sorry, but she was with an ungulate.  That's not terribly sepcific and I'm sorry.  I hate, absolutely hate, being the bearer of bad gnus.
 

TheTrisagion

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hecma925 said:
TheTrisagion said:
hecma925 said:
That explains it.  You are not the father!
So that whore horse was cheating on me!?!?! 

Now I am hot under the (horse)collar!  :mad:
Carefule with that bridle.  I'm sorry, but she was with an ungulate.  That's not terribly sepcific and I'm sorry.  I hate, absolutely hate, being the bearer of bad gnus.
Well, you just ruined MY Friday...thanks for that!  :mad:
 

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Question: if a horse gives birth during a race, and the foal trots over the finish line, did two horses win?
 

hecma925

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biro said:
Question: if a horse gives birth during a race, and the foal trots over the finish line, did two horses win?
Either way, I would lose.  I'm terrible with picking ponies.  I mean emus!  Noooo, I mean horses!  I always do that.  Stupidstupidstupid
 

TheTrisagion

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biro said:
Question: if a horse gives birth during a race, and the foal trots over the finish line, did two horses win?
Well, I would say only the foal would win.  But a penetrating question, nontheless.
 

TheTrisagion

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Maria said:
I saw this title and I thought that the name "whore" has been banned as an obscene word.

Sheesh!
No. We are discussing much deeper problems here in this thread.
 

hecma925

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J Michael said:
This whole thread.......ROTFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What is it with this pornography?

EDIT:  I'm sure, Maria.  I'm sure of it.
 

vamrat

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Maria said:
I saw this title and I thought that the name "whore" has been banned as an obscene word.

Sheesh!
If anyone did, they would have to be a Slavic language speaker.  W**** does not hit quite as hard as it does in Russian (and I am assuming the others).  I have been warned for use of this word before and now usually just use the word "skank".
 

J Michael

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hecma925 said:
J Michael said:
hecma925 said:
J Michael said:
This whole thread.......ROTFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What is it with this pornography?

EDIT:  I'm sure, Maria.  I'm sure of it.
Ooopsies  :-[ 8).  Wrong forum.









;D ;D
:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:Wrong Forum??
What........??  You'd have me put it in the forum with fish tacos  ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)?
 

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I wanted to share a song here but I realised I would wave to put myself into moderation for indecency. Google "my horse is amazing" if you want but do not complain later.
 

hecma925

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J Michael said:
hecma925 said:
J Michael said:
hecma925 said:
J Michael said:
This whole thread.......ROTFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What is it with this pornography?

EDIT:  I'm sure, Maria.  I'm sure of it.
Ooopsies  :-[ 8).  Wrong forum.









;D ;D
:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:Wrong Forum??
What........??  You'd have me put it in the forum with fish tacos  ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)?
Never.  Perhaps a horse taco thread may be more appropriate.  Sans kimchi?  :p
 

hecma925

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Michał Kalina said:
I wanted to share a song here but I realised I would wave to put myself into moderation for indecency. Google "my horse is amazing" if you want but do not complain later.
Hahahahahahahaha!
 

J Michael

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hecma925 said:
J Michael said:
hecma925 said:
J Michael said:
hecma925 said:
J Michael said:
This whole thread.......ROTFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What is it with this pornography?

EDIT:  I'm sure, Maria.  I'm sure of it.
Ooopsies  :-[ 8).  Wrong forum.









;D ;D
:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:Wrong Forum??
What........??  You'd have me put it in the forum with fish tacos  ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)?
Never.  Perhaps a horse taco thread may be more appropriate.  Sans kimchi?   :p
You got, brother!
 

TheTrisagion

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Why has someone filled up my thread with horse porn?  Do I just go into your threads and fill them with people porn?  :mad:
 

TheTrisagion

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Michał Kalina said:
I wanted to share a song here but I realised I would wave to put myself into moderation for indecency. Google "my horse is amazing" if you want but do not complain later.
Ok, I AM going to complain.

WHAT......THE......HECK......WAS.......THAT ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
 
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