Just to chime in, I grew up in the Roman Catholic Diocese of Springfield-Cape Girardeau, Missouri, and attended most of the parishes in Springfield growing up. I never saw any incense growing up that I can remember, but it was used at my grandmother's funeral a few months ago. "Amazing Grace" and other Protestant hymns were used at the funeral (per my Catholic mother's suggestion). BTW I cast no judgment on this; I am just reporting what I saw for those interested.
Growing up in this area, being a Catholic was pretty exotic and the area is very heavily Protestant of all stripes. I think that a lot of what is done is trying to blend in with the culture and adopt native Christian spirituality which can be "baptized" much in the same way that things from pagan cultures were. Anyway, acoustic guitars and other such instruments are the norm in all parishes in the diocese. I never attended a Mass without them. Songs were things like "Eagle's Wings" and other such 1970's "hippie" sort of compositions.
Communion was always offered in both species; ALWAYS. I was actually surprised to find out later in life that this is abnormal for Roman Catholics. Usually the priests would give communion with about three or so "extraordinary" female assistants giving out the elements to the faithful. Communion was always "in the hand", as some consider that a big deal. Priests always faced the people, and there was little chanting or intonation of the prayers by the priest. More recited in a normal talking voice, so proper chanting was unfamiliar to me when encountering Orthodoxy.
When I went to a Christmas Mass with my dear mom this last year, I did find the entrance procession being accompanied by Protestant hymns, piano and guitar to be a bit jarring. But again, no judgment; it's really not my business how they do things.
From what I understand the Kansas City (where I now live) Catholic culture is much more traditional across the board, at least in that the SSPX is headquartered down the street from my parish. But many of the Catholic churches that I've popped my head into seemed pretty gutted post-Vatican II, so I really don't know how true that is. The Kansas City Cathedral has a circular seating arrangement around the altar, so that seem to denote that the diocese up here might be more in the modern swing of things.
But I have a close friend who was raised Catholic in Alabama (who is now an Evangelical Pentecostal in the Vineyard movement), and he was catechized with the full deal traditional thing: kneeling and crossing oneself before entering a pew, kneeling for reception on the tongue, pre-communion fasting, incense, etc. I never saw or heard about any of that. All I ever really learned was the rosary, but not much of the meaning behind it or even how to count the decades and such. Just the basic prayer. So I think that what one finds in the USA varies pretty drastically depending on the bishop and the local Catholic culture.
