What is everyone reading?

stavros_388

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The Doors of the Sea, by David Bentley Hart.

So far, so good. What a writer! Thank God for my Kindle's built-in dictionary.
 

PeterTheAleut

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Asteriktos said:
Nitty-Gritty Grammar: A Not-So-Serious Guide to Clear Communication, ed. by Edith H. Fine and Judith P. Josephson
Is that kinda like Anguished English: An Anthology of Accidental Assaults Upon Our Language, by Richard Lederer
 

Asteriktos

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PeterTheAleut said:
Asteriktos said:
Nitty-Gritty Grammar: A Not-So-Serious Guide to Clear Communication, ed. by Edith H. Fine and Judith P. Josephson
Is that kinda like Anguished English: An Anthology of Accidental Assaults Upon Our Language, by Richard Lederer
Don't know, but that sounds like my kinda book  ;D
 

PeterTheAleut

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Asteriktos said:
PeterTheAleut said:
Asteriktos said:
Nitty-Gritty Grammar: A Not-So-Serious Guide to Clear Communication, ed. by Edith H. Fine and Judith P. Josephson
Is that kinda like Anguished English: An Anthology of Accidental Assaults Upon Our Language, by Richard Lederer
Don't know, but that sounds like my kinda book  ;D
A few examples:

From a courtroom somewhere:
Q.  Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A.  All my autopsies have been on dead people.


The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind, and they can be seen in the church basement Friday afternoon.


At restaurant-gas stations throughout the USA: Eat here and get gas.
 

IsmiLiora

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I LOVE reading those types of sentences!

Too bad it is not on the Kindle.
 

biro

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Just checked out a bunch of mysteries from the library. Mostly British, a couple other places as well.
 
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IsmiLiora said:
I LOVE reading those types of sentences!

Too bad it is not on the Kindle.
Reminds me of those collections of supposed "actual" questions put to witnesses from the bar table.

"Your eldest son, the twenty-one year old, how old is he?"
 

IsmiLiora

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akimori makoto said:
IsmiLiora said:
I LOVE reading those types of sentences!

Too bad it is not on the Kindle.
Reminds me of those collections of supposed "actual" questions put to witnesses from the bar table.

"Your eldest son, the twenty-one year old, how old is he?"
Would that count as a leading question? ;)
 
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IsmiLiora said:
akimori makoto said:
IsmiLiora said:
I LOVE reading those types of sentences!

Too bad it is not on the Kindle.
Reminds me of those collections of supposed "actual" questions put to witnesses from the bar table.

"Your eldest son, the twenty-one year old, how old is he?"
Would that count as a leading question? ;)
Haha, I suppose so, but you'd have to be pretty keen to object to it (do you guys use the word keen in this sense?).

Here are some more:

http://sites.google.com/site/kirktonic/journal/2007-journal/disorderintheamericancourts

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan.

ATTORNEY: Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the Bar exam?

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a Deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check or a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then, it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
 

orthonorm

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biro said:
:D

Being a lawyer sounds like more fun than I thought!
Being a witness is.

I wish I could find the deposition transcripts of a childhood "hero" of mine.

 

IsmiLiora

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biro said:
:D

Being a lawyer sounds like more fun than I thought!
I hear a lot of stuff with my transcription work, and sometimes I just can't stop laughing while I'm typing. If only every file were such a joy!
 
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Sometimes amusing things do happen in the law.

My favourite piece of correspondence ever received went like this:

"Dear Mr Akimori [not my real name], I am caught up in a machiavellian judicial conspiracy set within the matrix of a yet larger conspiracy orchestrated by Her Majesty's Attorney General [...]". It continued in the same high-flown manner.

I also once had the pleasure of reading an affidavit which commenced with the words "I am, and have always been, conscious of the fact that I am a rather attractive woman".

When I was a paralegal, I once had to attend the Supreme Court's Registry to file a document in proceedings involving twenty six defendants. When I arrived at the front desk, I told the clerk I needed to file a document in relation to Ms X's proceedings and he replied "oh, Ms X's matter -- I'm the thirteenth defendant". Turns out she joined him as a defendant because he was chewing on his pen in an (apparently) sexually provocative manner when she attended to file the summons.

The most tragic thing I've ever had cause to read was an internal file note that read "Marcus Aurelius [name changed to something as ridiculous as the original to protect the innocent] improved this month -- he only killed two kittens".
 

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Elder Ambrose of Optina by Sergius Chetverikov

Hieroschemamonk Feofil Fool-For Christ's-Sake: Ascetic and Visionary of the Kiev-Caves Lavra Vladimir Znosko

The Orthodox Church Calendar: In Defence of the Julian Calendar by Ludmila Perepiolkina

I'm trying to read all the Optina Elders. The series is one of the best! I've got two down so far.  :)
 
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